At 10 years old, Rob Henderson reached the following conclusion: "As far as I was concerned, adults were unreliable liars. With each new family, new parent and new rejection, grief, anger and loneliness accrued within me."
Henderson writes of the upbringing that led to this despairing insight in his powerful new book, "Troubled: A Memoir of Foster Care, Family, and Social Class."
After being taken from his birth mother and placed in seven homes in seven years, Henderson finally had a moment of stability -- but a moment was all it was. He had been enrolled in six different elementary schools before the third grade. When he was finally adopted, his parents were talking up his December birthday in anticipation. "But," he writes, "I'd never done anything for my birthday before --never had a cake or gotten any birthday presents -- so in my mind, I didn't have much to be excited about."
When he experienced his first proper birthday party, Henderson was stunned. He writes: "It was overwhelming. I didn't know what to play with first. I thanked everyone many times."
Henderson had finally attained the kind of normalcy every child deserves and that so many of us take for granted. Then his adoptive parents broke it to him that they were getting divorced. He had already predicted that it was all too good to last. He knew adults too well.
Henderson was a voracious reader as a child. In his younger years, it was "Goosebumps." In middle school, he found himself "reading biographies of boxers and martial artists like Muhammad Ali, Rocky Marciano and Bruce Lee." He learned about Jake LaMotta, a Bronx boxer whose father forced him to fight other kids for change. "His dad would then take the coins for himself and leave nothing for his son." These glimpses at the cruelties of the world made him grateful. "My life wasn't as bad as what some of them had gone through."
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He eventually began taking boxing classes, funding them with yard work jobs. In these lessons, the instructor stressed that violence was for the gym only; if they fought outside of the ring, they would be kicked out of class. It was this principle that helped Henderson get hold of his emotions and start to get on a better path. And these classes provided Henderson with the first inkling that perhaps some adults could be trusted.
Henderson's "Troubled" is an inspiring story of someone who found the strength to overcome adversity and the mental fortitude to find inner peace. He's a man who has experienced the miracle of gratitude, and he wants to pass on that experience to others.
I wish he could speak to every inner-city schoolboy.
Also, in a highly polarized election year, "Troubled" provides a reminder of the need for radical hospitality for scared moms, dads and children, especially those who are already outside the womb and in limbo.
Henderson was adopted before he became a teenager. The odds get worse the older you get. Whatever your politics -- and your disgust with politics -- you need to read "Troubled." And let it prompt questions about what we can do to help children who deserve more than being subject to adults' issues.
(Kathryn Jean Lopez is senior fellow at the National Review Institute, editor-at-large of National Review magazine and author of the new book "A Year With the Mystics: Visionary Wisdom for Daily Living." She is also chair of Cardinal Dolan's pro-life commission in New York, and is on the board of the University of Mary. She can be contacted at klopez@nationalreview.com.)
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