Townhall.com, Where Your Opinion Counts
Talk Radio:   Bill Bennett   Mike Gallagher   Dennis Prager   Michael Medved   Hugh Hewitt   
BREAKING NEWS  LeftArrow - Townhall.com : Conservative, Political, Republican   RightArrow - Townhall.com : Conservative, Political, Republican  
Columns, funnies & more in your inbox!
  • Check the boxes and send us your email address to receveive your free newsletter
  • Your daily must-read of conservative columns, cartoons and news. Coulter, Sowell, Krauthammer and more.
  • Townhall.com’s weekly inside scoop on what’s happening behind the scenes in the world of politics. When news breaks, we report.
  • Signup to receive the latest daily Townhall cartoons

Comment on: The Pepperhawks' Farm Journal

Redneck Terrorist Camp Amenities

80 Comments

I want that truck

that thing is cool. Or maybe I could just build one.

St. Gracie,

Please change the Purplegimp Air Transport logo to the correct one?

OMG!


It took me 5 mins to stop laughing so I could post something!

Now about that truck with the shack on top, it looks suspiciously like the one in our garage that hasen't run for about 13 yrs. In fact the last time I rode in it, it stranded us on a railroad track. WITH A TRAIN COMING! LOL!

Now, I ask St. Gracie her permission to allow my trusty sidekick to chauffer me around. That way I won't have to get perscription eyeglasses or my drivers liscense renewed! LOL!

All of that is COMPLETELY true.

Just for dramatic effect


I shall inform all that my baby was strapped into his car seat when that train was coming. Now that might not have been a problem for most, but when I panic, my fingers manage to become disconnected from my brain and they stop following instructions. LOL!

Oh Juliet,

What a lovely write-up on the Camp. Please don't forget Gideon's Bible for those of us who'd like to thank the big guy every nite and we must remember to quote good scripture when trying to torture those towel-headed men...'Kay? Thanks. I reckon I cain't wait to learn how ta be a redneck terrorist. (spit)

ps

New post up at Nee's place.

Peppermint2

I'm thrilled to see that my kitties got there safe and sound. I was happy to see they got right to work no time to waste. When I come I'll bring the squirrels with me. See you soon

Nee

In the spirit of Political Correctness it has been brought to my attention that they are not towels worn on there heads. But in fact little sheets, and that in the future they should be referred to as.

LITTLE SHEET HEADS.

I also think some crosses will help.

wil

I think you could just build one. Get some old scrap lumber and hack it together. I think even I could do that one. LOL!

Lucy

OK, OK, I'll change it. Maybe not tonight unless I get up some energy.

Mash

No problem woman, whoever your trusty sidekick is you can be ridden around. Now, is it a dog, cat, squirrel or man?

Hey, if you get that 13 yr old piece fixed up in your garage you can come in that.

Mash

First problem I see here is that your fingers are attached to your brain. I would suggetst seeing an excellent plastic surgeon who can remove them and put them in their proper place.

Now if I was stuck on a train track, which actually I was one morning, waiting in traffic, I would indeed be panicked with a baby in the car. It was just me at the time. Not one car would move to make room for me to squish between them so I had to pull my car into a ditch so the train would miss me in my little del sol at the time. Whew! Close call on that one.

Nee

We're not becoming Redneck terrorists to defeat the Taliban, but the American MSM. Remember? It's a lot easier since they are all cowards. Training won't require a lot since most of these MSM types head for the hills quickly when spotted.
Be by your place soon.

Doggedq

Rest assured your kitties are doing just fine, eating well, lounging around in their digs, good comfortable ones too. And, hey, they're doing a bang up job on those massages.

See ya soon with the squirrels. Can't wait.

Ooops

I forgot the bibles and crosses. Another overlook. I guess I'll have to amend this post with Lucy complaining and missing some items.

Pep


I wasn't just stuck. The truck was STALLED! LOL!

Mash

Well, stuck. stalled, schmucked whatever, your fingers still need to be detached from your brain and sewn onto your hand. I can't imagine the looks you must get. And, how do you paint?

Pepp

Love Redneck Airlines!! As an antique truck collector,I'd say that looks like about a '54 F-700?

Clyde

That's not the real airline photo. She just put that one up to fool the MSM pundits. The real picture will be posted when St. Gracie is all rested up!

i want to apply!!

but i'm afraid i'm not redneck enough.

i'm afraid of being the magic redneck.

clyde

I bet your friend could make that truck look great. I have no idea what year that truck is and you would know better than I.

Lucy

I'll be getting the real Purplegimp airlines up soon.

beltway girl

Don't worry. You'll be a full fledged Redneck when we're finished with you. Your application is accepted and we expect to see you soon. What transportation do you think you'll use? LOL

St. Gracie,and beltway girl

I'd be happy to bring along beltway girl when I fly in for my lecture tonight on how to prepare cauldrons for boiling MSM pundits and other worthy lefties alive and how to shout curses at the enemy that they can hear but won't ruin your throat.

Pepp

I'll be glad to help beltway girl. Here's a quick one from Redneck 101. All, Awl, and Oil are all pronounced exactly the same way. We can get her out of the blue splotch and down into the red Chesapeake hinterlands we'll soon have her doin' a very credible ya'll.

If I'm going to handle tech then let me say; start saving soup cans and string. We are going to need the really big institutional size cans for long distance communications. The small tomato paste cans will work fine for spec ops and recon work.

Lucy

That sounds excellent. We'll just have beltway girl come with you.

Sarge

LOL! I'll start saving cans, how about coffee cans will they work? Gos goes through several a week.

And, yes you can teach beltway girl how to pronounce all those words that all sound alike and in no time she'll be a true redneck.

I think between Purplegimp and you her education will be quickly done.

Sarge

And we could use 'second hand' smoke for signalling.

Absolutely!

Second hand smoke is a great idea. Pep, coffee cans will work. I have done this many times with Quaker Oats containers but they make lousy all-weather comm equipment since they are cardboard.

You had better put a block of training in for the Force Recon Squirrels on running comm string. They are perfect for the task but remember the string has to be very tight. LOL!

LOL Pep!


I didn't notice how that comment looked! Hey, maybe I paint with my feet?! After all I've seen a guy with no arms who does it.

The species of my chauffeur is man. At least I hope I married a man!

He's telling me I need to renew my drivers license, but I told him that since The Terriost Traing Camp is located in such a backwoods area, the odds of me coming across ticket happy law enforcement is pretty slim. LOL!

As for my poor eyesight, well, that could prove to be a deadly problem for our Camp's combat animals! Hahaha!

Hmmmm......

Staying behind in California's looking better all the time......


Sarge

How about those plastic coffee cans will they work? They might work because the tops can be put back on and used as drums should anything happen to the string.

But Pepp

The MSM and the libs are the antithesis of God-Lovingh/fearing!! We need to make them melt away when they touch anything that relates to religion, like the bad witch in Oz. C'mon, I may have shingles, but ah ain't loco!!

I got inspired!!!

Gosh the magic Redneck lived in the hills,
and frolicked in the hazy mist in the land of Liberty...
But Little spritely Pepper, loved that Rascal Gosh
Who brought her guns and aa-mmo and other fancy stuff...
(chorus)
ooOh together they will bring us
the Redneck Training Camp
With Pepp and the dogs a-perching from the barn out on the trail
The MSM and journalists will cower when they come
and The Guns he will prevail
(Chorus)
It's America forever, death to the in-fi-dels
So-oon it will happen, A patriot's revolt
and the MSM can stand no more as they burn in hell...
(Chorus)

doggonnit!

I can't see any of the pics from my work 'puter. I'll have to reserve further comments until I get a chance to look at this from the home 'puter.

wow!!

the idea of travelling w/purplegimp to mix up cauldrons sounds excellent. people already know i'm a real witch. i don't save the cans now, but i do save the labels! quite frankly, the whole redneck camp sounds like a great idea. i don't care if i'm the magic redneck. i will go bowling and have a timberwolf burger. i'm going to have a timberwolf burger right now so i can go howl in protest at doc steech's blog of absence!

Questions

1. Is yewuns amakin' fun of usuns?

2. Is yewuns a Hatfield or a McCoy??

3. How'd jew get a picture of my camper truck?
I ain't seen it since Cousin Harley borrowed it at the last family reunion (tha's where I met my wife) over a year ago..

Sarge

What kind of string is that for the squirrels? I'm not familiar with it, but I'm sure Gos will be. We must load up on that too. 2nd hand smoke will work well.

Nee

Love that song you made up. You are really good at that stuff. I recall you making up little diddies a long time ago. Cool.

Mash

I'm afraid you'd be wrong about the police out here. I got 2 tickets in less than 5 weeks after I moved here for speeding. Now mind you everyone else was speeding, but I'm the one who got the tickets. I can't get another ticket for 2 years now or I get my license revoked.

Now, my landlord tells me the reason I get the tickets is because I have a "drug car". People with pickups and vans don't get the tickets.

Dogged

I think those plastic coffee cans which we have too would be useful for drums that we can use to send signals with. Another great idea coming from Rednecks all over the place.

Craw

See ya later when you can see. LOL

beltway girl

This is wonderful! Now we have 4 witches, you, Purplegimp, Mash, and myself. What a witches brew the four of us can cook up in our cauldron.

You'll have so much fun, especially at our night rituals during full moons. We put spells on certain people that work quite well. Ask Lucy. She'll tell ya.

So come on out girl, you'll be a certifiable Redneck before ya know it.

buck

Ha! You didn't see Purplegimp riding on her broom over your place when she caught that pic of your truck. Can't hide anything from us.

Getting soft!

Massages!

I want to see those cats launch some of those bombs!

Why did the movie Monty Python and the Holy Grail come to mind right now? Particullary the French knights?

BrianR

Staying behind for the time being may be a good idea.. I think things are going to be hectic around here for awhile. You can always keep us posted about your stealth plans in Leftfornia!

Pepp

That was a good idea having Purplegimp do surveillance. The radar signature of a broom is so small they would figure its a bird. Its also very quiet as well as stealthy great thinking. And even the libs would like it as it doesn't pollute. And they call us Rednecks.

Buck

I get around on my wheelbroom. Photo missions are carried out on cloudy nights, but 'scare the stuffing out of Libs missions are usually done when the moon is full.


If Brian decided to do a Gilligan, I can airlift supplies to him, then, buzz the commie que*r Califonia regulars.

beltway girl

Pick you up the next cloudy night? I have a nice padded swing type chair that I can attach to the wheelbroom. It's held on with chains that can be made to rattle and creak if we go over known MSM pundit's houses.

Nee

The song is super! For those of you who may not know, it is sung to the tune of "Puff The Magic Dragon." One of my all time fav's!

Good job Nee!

beltway girl, 1maschrom, Nee

Oh no! I'll be surrounded by 4 witch's instead of the normal 2! Maybe 5 If Nee is a witch. I suspect that she may be, after reading her post at 11:11 AM.

Now you witchy gals take it easy on us menfolk! Ya'll be castin yer black magic spells on da enemy. Ya heah??

Dogged

Yeah, and that Purplegimp broom is fast too. She can move half way around the world in the blink of an eye!

Virginia Daddy

Re: Getting soft. Ya got's ta giv'um time. Their still in training.

I'm in

The accomodations look outstanding, but, isn't to much comfort not that good for training?

Joe

So Pep


You're a regular Danica Patrick huh? LOL! I've never gotten a speeding ticket. EVER. Amazing huh? (haha now that I said that I'll probably get one)

A drug car huh?! What model would THAT be. LOL!

You think they bother me in my big beautiful gigantic Eddie Bauer expedition with the illegally tinted windows (I like to remain incognito)?. Hey Gos, that's how us redneck witches travel here in the South. LOL!

Joe

Ya got ah point thar. Wus tellen Pepp jus da uthar dey dat we mountian men haint used ta no featha bed. We get's up all stiff an slugish.

1maschrom

Ya mean all you's got them new-fangled brooms likes Purplegimp?

LOL Gos!


Yup. I only travel on the best broom!

Ooooo-hoooooo

Witchy Woman. See how high she fli-i-ies!

I'd send my cats

but those fat nutless wonders are LAAAA-Z!

Can we get EVF and Caday5 to be setting up targets on the sniper range?

crawfish&purplegimp

good idea! toss some eagles into the cauldron. we can't use bald ones. we'll have to find some with full heads of hair. purplegimp, will there be motorized broomsticks?

Crawfish

EVF and Caday5, working on the target range is an excellent idea! I think our resident witch's can...er,..persuade them.

VADaddy

Ha, ha. Monty Python. Wonderfully funny movie.

Well, I guess it appears soft VDad, but you know we're training to fight the MSM elitists. They are so soft to begin with that we can take some R&R while training. LOL

Dogged

Great comment on Purplegimp's broom. It does have all the advantages you stated. See, Purplegimp, or Lucy as I call her, is way ahead in this game having to fight hizzbullies in Israel and she knows what works and what doesn't. She has done magnificent feats on her broom. I can assure you of that.

Lucy

I love your mission of dropping supplies into Brian and buzzing the San Fran weirdos later. What an excellent idea.

Joe

We sure do offer a lot of comfort as you could see from the pics. But, it's all back woods comfort and builds character while giving that good down homey feeling.

Glad you're in. We'll arrange for Purplegimp to pick you up.

Mash

I just love Danica. And she beat all those guys the other day. What a firecracker she is huh?

Yep, I'm the firecracker racer here in dese parts. The cops sure do have my number. All I've got is a Honda Prelude SI for bloody sake, but apparently that's pretty weird down here. Pick-ups and vans are the thing to drive in this area. So I just think the cops don't trust me, ya know what I mean? Like I'm flying around doing drug deals or something nefarious like that. Right. The last thing you'd ever guess me to be doing if you knew me well.

I was going to get out of the car and argue with the cop on the 2nd ticket, but Gos held me back, figuring I'd only get into worse trouble.

Hey,what can I say, I've got a lead foot. Okay? There I admitted to it.

Another thing I thought with my magnet on the back "Support the Troops" would keep me outta trouble. But, NO.

Ho, ho

listen to Gos talk about not sleeping in a feather bed. I'm bustin a gut. He sleeps in a really nice bed and still gets up stiff.

Craw, Gos and other menfolk

Listen up here ya'll. We witches, Purplegimp and I have been gathering a covenant for some time now. And, our forces are growing strong. We all have good brooms from Purplegimp's manufacturing plant in Israel. Fast and furious can we fly. And the missions we can perform while not even flying, I mean just what we can do at the cauldron is magic.

Goshawk can tell you the magic performed. He has first hand knowledge. LOL

Mash

I didn't get your email if you just sent on today. Just to let you know.

Oh dear

Whoever it was that insulted me by saying my wheelbroom is ecologically friendly should be aware that I'm only using it until I can buy my Land Rover Discovery back. That is about at un PC a vehicle that can be found. WB might be fast and quiet, but it sure can help create lots of damage. The things I've dropped from it.....
Oh, and Margaret Hamilton herself taught me how to do her wicked witch laugh. Flying over 'lib strongholds' while doing that is quite effective, and it's lots of fun to watch the ensuing panic from above!
St. Gracie, just send me a list of who to pick up, and when, and I'll put the required number of seats on.

I'm back

I spent yesterday driving back and forth to Williamsburg (100 miles one way) doing my bit for Earth Day. 22 mpg Yippee!

Dogged - Drums are a last resort. Just as tracers point in both directions beating on a drum generally attracts attention of the unwelcome variety.

Pep, IED's are an important part of any well run insurgency. Liberals can not resist the urge to recycle. This makes the recycle bins and cans perfect for booby traps. Simply litter the area with recyclables, such as Perrier bottles, and they will blow themselves to kingdom come all on their own.

Gos, have you a recipe for wolf ribs?

Anyone Remember the 6 Day War?

Reporter (to President Nasser): Mr. President, just when did you realize you had lost the war?

President Nasser: When they started booking Bar Mitzvahs in the Cairo Hilton.

Lucy

Your request has been answered. The list of applicants is on its way.

I hope you can apply all the seat necessary to get everyone to the camp. I'm sure you'll work it out in your witchy way. LOL

Sarge

Oh what a good idea for the recycling you mentioned. I think that is a great addition to our list of tools in our arsenal for MSM warfare.

LOL! You are a crack up.

Buck

Ah, the six day war. I recall it well. LOL!

All

Ah, yes, the 6 day war. I'm still dealing with the aftermath......
St. Gracie, WB can handle everything it has to. Witchy magic, you know. I'll just program the magic GPS when the list gets here!

Thank You Peppermint2 and Goshawk!

(And also "Buck": "Reporter (to President Nasser): Mr. President, just when did you realize you had lost the war?

President Nasser: When they started booking Bar Mitzvahs in the Cairo Hilton.")

The last couple of weeks have been really depressing. I needed this column for the many laughs it has given me since you posted it on 04/21/08. I must have read it eight or nine times. Thank you again.

However, I do have 2 questions: What is a "corgi"? How do I hire the "crack redneck firemen"?

GrayGhost

Thank you for the compliments. So glad it gave you a lift in your spirits.

A corgi is a dog breed. My dog is a Pembroke Welsh Corgi.

Those crack firemen are on hire right now. Just write to "Crack Fireman" at 101 Crack St.
Crackup, USA.