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Comment on: The Kilroy Report

Hope on a Rope

65 Comments
Thursday, February, 21, 2008 5:17 PM ShiningCity writes:

It comes on a rope

so you can just carry it around--for those who prefer "compromise" to actually bathing.
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Thursday, February, 21, 2008 5:23 PM -Kilroy writes:

Ding ding ding

SC is the first to post winner.

I was thinking a good marketing plan might be:

"Contains no soap -- not offensive to Muslims or the French"
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Thursday, February, 21, 2008 5:31 PM Jimmy Carter writes:

Uh, Oh...

....I see another "Jena 6" developing.

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Thursday, February, 21, 2008 5:50 PM davecatbone writes:

The Obama Menswear Suit

An empty suit you send to work for yourself. You don't have to be there, it shows up and makes everyone feel good, even though you don't actually accomplish anything. Women cry and faint, and you get promoted to chief executive. All you have to do is send it to the cleaners once in a while.
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Thursday, February, 21, 2008 6:02 PM -Kilroy writes:

Jena 6?

No, Jimmy, it's not a weapon to beat up white kids with. It's a ... ummmm ... well, it's like Obama, it's hard to put your finger on just what it is. That's why I need your help.
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Thursday, February, 21, 2008 6:06 PM davecatbone writes:

I think the rope thing...

could be misinterpreted. Especially if someone did a fancy knot with the rope. We must be careful these PC days.
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Thursday, February, 21, 2008 6:11 PM -Kilroy writes:

dave -

the only way that rainbow rope (which I cut and pasted from an actual picture of soap on a rope) could be "misinterpreted" is if you really want to misinterpret it. If you go each day with the goal of being offended, you can dream up an endless list of things to be offended at.

thus ends the debate on the appropriateness of my "art". Get with some punchlines, already.
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Thursday, February, 21, 2008 6:18 PM davecatbone writes:

Well...

"Rope a dope those dirty right wing racists with Hope on a Rope!"
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Thursday, February, 21, 2008 6:19 PM Jimmy Carter writes:

[My best Jesse Jackson impersonation]:

"Hope on a Rope for every Dope to Cope."
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Thursday, February, 21, 2008 6:27 PM -Kilroy writes:

Hope on a Rope

Platitudes for your Pocket!
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Thursday, February, 21, 2008 6:29 PM -Kilroy writes:

Hang one in your car

A messiah for your mirror!
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Thursday, February, 21, 2008 6:34 PM -Kilroy writes:

99 44/100%

Pure Bull&*$#!
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Thursday, February, 21, 2008 7:26 PM -Kilroy writes:

For a limited time only

Buy one - get the other for the same price!
(we need to pay off our student loans)
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Thursday, February, 21, 2008 7:38 PM -Kilroy writes:

Michelle from Chicago says:

I have mine in my car. It's the first thing I've been proud of in my whole adult life!
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Thursday, February, 21, 2008 7:44 PM -Kilroy writes:

Michelle in Chicago (also) says:

"Buy two, in case one gets shot going to the gas station"
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Thursday, February, 21, 2008 7:55 PM ScarletPimpernel writes:

how about one for McCain?

It doesn't have a rope on it. You have to bend over to get it.
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Thursday, February, 21, 2008 9:00 PM BrianR writes:

Heh heh

Yeah, the first thought that crossed my mind was the same thing that Jimmy and Dave wrote: Jena 6.


Now, if you want to make a similar product with a McCain head, use the noose and call it "Dope on a Rope".

Hey, Doc.... who you calling a "geezer"?

And, no, I don't recall seeing this phenomenon of audience participation before you guys.


As to the Obamarama thingie: "Warning: The Surgeon General and the State of California have determined that this product contains promises known to be hazardous to health and security. This product should be used with extreme caution."

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Thursday, February, 21, 2008 9:15 PM Jimmy Carter writes:

"Great gift idea!"

"Upon receiving this, your friends are surely to pass out!"
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Thursday, February, 21, 2008 9:29 PM Sheila writes:

Jimmy, Kilroy

Jimmy: Your last post was great! LOL

Kilroy: How about " Have soap (on a rope) will travel (with hope)"...:)

Funny, Kilroy, as usual!
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Thursday, February, 21, 2008 9:57 PM Jimmy Carter writes:

*

credit cards, money orders, checks, and cash not accepted. Change only.
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Thursday, February, 21, 2008 10:12 PM Sheila writes:

Ha, Jimmy!

Good one!
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Friday, February, 22, 2008 5:26 AM Sgt Relic writes:

Testimonial

"Before I discovered "Hope on a Rope" life looked pretty bleak. No matter what I tried all I got was the same old clichés, "Bill, get a job", or "Bill take some personal responsibility"... Nobody wanted to help me! But then I discovered "Hope on a Rope"! Just one taken with a little bottled water (free at County Services) and I am ready to face the day!

I am now the first one in the cheese line, never miss an Oprah...Life is sweet again! They are a little hard to swallow at first, but once you stop thinking about it, they go down real easy! All my friends now take "Hope on a Rope" and you should too! Bill - Chicago IL
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Friday, February, 22, 2008 5:28 AM Sgt Relic writes:

Berkeley fight continues

New post, stop by.
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Friday, February, 22, 2008 6:01 AM -Kilroy writes:

Sgt Relic just raised the bar!

Still (virtually unlimited) time to get your entries in but it looks it's gonna be tough to get that 4 year supply of Hope on a Rope from the Sarge's hands.

Here's a link to some of Michelle's whackier comments. Perhaps this will inspire you (to slit your wrists).

http://hughhewitt.townhall.com/MediaPlayer/AudioPlayer.aspx ?ContentGuid=9e3a08aa-ad84-46cf-8492-6aff289bca42
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Friday, February, 22, 2008 8:39 AM Sgt Relic writes:

One more time

The clip was indeed inspiring but I feel much better now.

Testimonial:

I was lost. The government had completely forgotten about me. Friends said, “Mutt, that’s a good thing.”, but I knew that I needed more. Then a friend told me his story. He said that he had been looking for “change” and he had found it in front of the Mini-Mart.
I decided then and there that I wanted “change” too!

I was very successful, and after purchasing a couple of 40’s, found that I had enough leftover for “Hope on a Rope”. It has completely changed my life under the overpass. Rolled in broken glass it is not just the best thing for keeping your space….It’s the only THING! I now feel secure, and it is all because of “Hope on a Rope”, in fact, I am now seeking enough “change” to send my soul in to be fixed by the same good folks that gave us “Hope on a Rope”. Mutt – Miami FL
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Friday, February, 22, 2008 10:55 AM USA Eagle writes:

Hope on a rope

Trial offer shipped to you absolutely free.All you have to do is pay the modest TAX and if you call right now,we'll send you not one,but two more absolutely free.That's three total and you pay only the tax.

Note:tax rates subject to change without notice
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Friday, February, 22, 2008 12:55 PM Gray Ghost writes:

Per Your "Hope on a Rope"...

I must say nope,
To your "Hope on a Rope"!
I am no dope.
I cannot cope,
With Obama's soap.
Should I really mope?
Should I call the Pope?
Should I lose all hope?

No, I must grope
For TRUTH and Real Hope.
Obama's the Dope.
Too costly his "soap"
Too expensive to cope.
I shall spread honest "soap",
To all those with no hope.
And just say Nope to this Dope.
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Friday, February, 22, 2008 9:47 PM The Crawfish writes:

and

It's just as slick as a Clinton, but packaged better.
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Friday, February, 22, 2008 9:52 PM The Crawfish writes:

come on by

on Sunday. By then I'll have my manifesto posted, or at least part of it. The Crawfish Party Platform 2008. I'm about 2/3 done and it's six pages in WORD 2007. What am I getting myself into?

I've got some other new stuff posted
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Saturday, February, 23, 2008 7:00 AM Sgt Relic writes:

Ghost

I don't know the ad game but I would say you have a real future in the rap industry. Good one!
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Saturday, February, 23, 2008 8:15 AM -Kilroy writes:

Don't say "Nope" to Hope

Gray Ghost, Gray Ghost, Gray Ghost. Very cute poem for an Obama denier. Have your fun while you can but when Obama is Maximum Leader and Madam Michelle is First Lady your cynicism "will not be permitted". Have your fun, make your poems but come January 21st we'll see who else is on a rope. Join us, before it's too late.



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Saturday, February, 23, 2008 8:18 AM -Kilroy writes:

Scarlet

I am sure McCain will be bending over for Obama in November. Unless he's elected, in which case he'll be bending over for Harry and Nancy -- just like old times.
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Saturday, February, 23, 2008 8:24 AM -Kilroy writes:

Funny stuff

USA Eagle, but a "modest" tax? I think an "audacious" tax is more fitting to the product. Better call it a handling charge, though --- as a religion, the Cult of Obama qualifies as tax exempt.
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Saturday, February, 23, 2008 8:25 AM -Kilroy writes:

Sheila

I like it! It's just the kind of positive message this ... ummmm ... thing on a rope is trying to convey.
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Saturday, February, 23, 2008 8:26 AM -Kilroy writes:

Jimmy

Maybe we could package it with smelling salts.
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Saturday, February, 23, 2008 8:33 AM -Kilroy writes:

Craw - 6 pages, huh

Great, now I know how I'll spend my weekend, and next weekend, and the next weekend, and ...
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Saturday, February, 23, 2008 11:59 AM Gray Ghost writes:

Kilroy...

Didn't you read Sarge's comment? That I have real potential as a "Rapper"? I can protest and disagree using "rap"!

If I am a "Rapper", Obama will have to leave me alone or go after the rest of his "youth base".

(Now if I can just figure out what to rhyme with "ho" and "b*tch".)
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Saturday, February, 23, 2008 12:09 PM davecatbone writes:

Kilroy

Congratulations on the what's hot listing....this thread is one of your best, with the exception of your Frankenstein captions over at Doc's. Why aren't you writing for somebody for a living? It seems so effortless from here. I took a gamble and did a piece on race, if you get a chance to come by....
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Saturday, February, 23, 2008 4:02 PM Scottie writes:

99 and 44/100th Percent

Pure .... Marxism
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Saturday, February, 23, 2008 4:08 PM Jimmy Carter writes:

Yo, Gray Ghost...

....waaaaaaazzz uuuuuuuuup?!

If You is uh rappa', thens You be knowin' that is "biatch!"
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Saturday, February, 23, 2008 4:25 PM Scottie writes:

With Apologies to Dr Seus

I do not like Hope on a Rope
It may not work, this untried soap
I would not like it here or there
It's going to CHANGE things everywhere
I just can't take this; I can't cope!
Do they think that I'm a Dope?
I all verclempt, I just can't cope!
Excuse me now, I must go mope
Perhaps to dangle from the rope
That came wrapped with pseudo Hope.
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Saturday, February, 23, 2008 5:50 PM -Kilroy writes:

Bravo, Scottie

But, ummm, I don't think Obama will let you be sad either. I'll have to check with Madam Michelle to see if that's permitted under the new regime. I think only smiling happy uncynical faces.
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Saturday, February, 23, 2008 10:02 PM Scottie writes:

Kilroy

to quote my good friend and mentor Bill the Cat
AAAAaAawwwwwkkkkkkk
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Sunday, February, 24, 2008 6:11 AM -Kilroy writes:

"AAAAaAawwwwwkkkkkkk"?

Interesting choice of words. I believe they were the last words of Madame Michelle's political role model, Madame Mao

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jiang_Qing#Downfall
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Sunday, February, 24, 2008 1:59 PM Frigglesnitz writes:

Hope

It's evergreen. Does that make it environmentally safe? Hmmmm.
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Sunday, February, 24, 2008 2:41 PM -Kilroy writes:

Frigg -

thanks for stopping by.

As with Obama, this product (whatever it is -- a talisman, maybe) can be any scent you want it to be. It is the sum of all of your hopes, collected, magnified and reflected back to you. It is all that you project onto it. I'd order more than one although one represents more than you could ever need or hope for. It's so, so, so ... so Obama.
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Sunday, February, 24, 2008 4:01 PM Frigglesnitz writes:

Kilroy Was There

Great little Kilroy there at the end of your post. Forgot to say that earlier.

It occurred to me after reading your reply that I'll bet almost anything you've written poetry. No wonder you're such a dreamer. "all your hopes, collected, magnified and reflected back to you."

I'll take your advice, though, and order 'em and keep on ordering 'em. One can never never have enough hope.

You didn't mean "Hope on the Ropes," did you???
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Sunday, February, 24, 2008 7:42 PM -Kilroy writes:

POEMS??!! YOU WANT POEMS??!!

We got your friggin' poems right here (to which Doc Steech will attest).

http://kilroyreport.blogtownhall.com/2007/09/13/poems_from_ guantanamo_ii.thtml
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Sunday, February, 24, 2008 8:14 PM Frigglesnitz writes:

KILROY: WRITES RITES?

Oh, I never imagined my guessing was so close to the truth. Real poetry!

And I'm sure that if well-known reviewers were aware of your talent, never, never would they have said of someone else's collections that at last the "detainees" had found "their voice" (or something to that effect).

Only your very own collection could make those voices so clear.

Do you write obits as well?
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Sunday, February, 24, 2008 9:36 PM RecknHavic writes:

Just Listen...

..to what people are saying about Hope on a Rope.

"Since using Hope on a Rope I've never felt so clean and articulate." Joe Biden

"The first moment (pant pant) I saw (heavier beathing) Hope on a Rope (sigh!) I just knew I had (swooning) found a product I neeee.... (clunk!)" Most women

Yes, Hope on a Rope; the only soap that gets you progressively cleaner with each use.

*disclaimer: not to be confused with the "Kucinich Hope on a Hemp Rope".
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Monday, February, 25, 2008 6:40 AM -Kilroy writes:

Reck

Yeah, Biden popped into my mind more than a few times on this one. Funny.

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Monday, February, 25, 2008 1:00 PM USA Eagle writes:

Kilroy

No matter what venue you choose in offering Hope on a Rope to the public,you must include the disclaimer: Note to consumerer,this product is a manufactured soap product molded around a hollow center.Intended for decorative purposes only.
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Monday, February, 25, 2008 2:38 PM SquiddyPopPerkyJean writes:

That's rich!

Okay, too many other clever and hilarious comments here for me to add to. But great analogy, Kilroy!
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Monday, February, 25, 2008 3:27 PM RecknHavic writes:

The USA Eagle Has Landed..

..a good one.

"Hollow center, decorative"..very funny.
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Monday, February, 25, 2008 10:51 PM Redhead writes:

Hope on a Rope

To clean where the sun don't shine!
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Tuesday, February, 26, 2008 4:32 AM -Kilroy writes:

USA Eagle

Man, those lawyers sure get in the way of a good marketing scam. Any way we can avoid truth in advertising? Obama sure does.
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Tuesday, February, 26, 2008 4:35 AM -Kilroy writes:

Hi Squiddy!

Thanks for visiting. Good seeing you. Hope everything is going well, and that your husband, newly freed from the shackles of corrupt "producers", is busily penning some quality television programming for us. Man cannot live by reality shows alone.
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Tuesday, February, 26, 2008 4:39 AM -Kilroy writes:

Where the sun don't shine?

Redhead, do you mean on one of Obama's policy positions, by any chance?

I am just glad that the sun has finally shown on Madame Michele's heart and warmed it to the point that, at long last after Harvard and Princeton educations, a million or so in the bank and a big house in the burbs, that she America has finally provided her with something that she can be proud of. It ain't 40 acres and a mule but at least it's a start.
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Tuesday, February, 26, 2008 11:35 AM Nee writes:

Kilroy

Excellent humor as always...I tried to post last week and it wouldn't go...Nice one over at Doc's, too. Are you gonna be Craw's PR man? hehehe...

I forwarded the link here to friends, hoepfully they'll come around!
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Tuesday, February, 26, 2008 10:36 PM wil writes:

You could also market the empty suit

Put a suit with a power tie on a piece of wood, set it on your lap, and make it say whatever you want it to say
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Wednesday, February, 27, 2008 10:36 PM Redhead writes:

Where the sun don't shine

Is where I'd like to leave all of Obamamama's policies.

wil - it'd have more substance if you wore the suit upside down and backwards...
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Friday, February, 29, 2008 12:32 PM The Crawfish writes:

Who said Michelle was smiling

all the time. She has a Hitlery!(tm) class scowl most of the time that any whiteys are in the room.
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Thursday, March, 06, 2008 12:01 AM SquiddyPopPerkyJean writes:

Clarification

Not that it's a big deal, but I just wanna clarify that my husband is NOT a writer, he does other post-production work on movies/TV. We're incensed at those dang freegan writers who made people lose jobs.

Anyway, Scottie, great Seuss homage! JimmyC, perfect JJackson! So much talent here, I'm sure I've left out more names!
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Saturday, March, 08, 2008 2:09 AM Georgetwin writes:

kilroy

More like Dope on a Rope. with the smoking ban in place, LET'S DO OUTBACK!

New Posting!
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Saturday, March, 08, 2008 10:45 AM davecatbone writes:

Where's my Kilroy Report?

Slacker! I know darned well your brain is overflowing with rich material, and now I'm spoiled and expect to come here reading another great Kilroy Report! Hmmmmmmm. Hope all is well pal!
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