Your friend's pride in her son shouldn't be conditioned on the accolades of lesser beings. She has every right to be very proud of her son; and the rest of us would do well to share in that pride.
A narcissist cannot grasp the concept of being a part of and serving something greater than oneself. We should endlessly remind them that there are greater things than they.
The cultural elites seem to feel that by not serving, by not contributing, they have somehow taken a morally superior position. They are wrong of course. The military produces honorable men and women from the raw recruits it receives from the broad middle and working classes. The University on the other hand, produces spineless unthinking idiots out of the progeny of the elites. One would think with "better" feed stock, a better product would emerge.
I have a book recommendation for your friend, Sandra:
http://www.amazon.com/AWOL-Unexcused-Absence-Americas-Military/dp/0060888601/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1/103-8302522-5138219?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1180114425&sr=8-1It's by someone from the elite class whose son joined the military and the eyeopening he received as a parent of a soldier and the debunking of many of the misconceptions he had.
Here's a link to his interview on Book TV:
http://www.booktv.org/General/index.asp?segID=7179&schedID=429&category=After+Words