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Comment on: Not So Friendly Fire

Stronger Sword Control Laws are Needed!

59 Comments

My family

likes to attend Renaissance Faires. One bumper sticker we see in the parking lots occasionally reads:

"If guns are outlawed, can we use swords?"

If they make us register

our bladed weapons...my family will have a LOT of paperwork to fill out!

Good One, Sgt. Relic!

You are ahead of the curve (pun intended)!!

Crawfish

Would these swords be considered assault weapons since they will stab more than 10 times without reloading?

Mrs. AL

Isn't it strange how wild an idea has to be for congress not to have thought of it yet?

I'm sorry

but Asian, egyptian, viking, claymores, flamberges, longswords, scimitars, b@stard and two handed swords are considered assault swords and have to be registered for, with a complete check of your background and an approval from the department of national security. Soon pocketknives and short swords will be added to the assault sword list, followed by daggers, axes, chainsaws, katars, nunchucks, sticks, and butter knives.


Hope I'm not laying the sarcasm on too thick!

Of course with the left you never know.

Eric

Next we will hear how 90% of the swords being used in Mexico are coming from the U.S.

I see that the media and administration types are still sticking to that discredited number when they speak of the border violence. Notice however that no one is calling for the border to be closed to choke the exporting of these alleged guns.

This administration has turned us into a laughing stock. Canadians are making fun of us! How bad is that?

"The Sanctity of Human Life"

That's what started it all.
Reversing myy own argument against capital punishment for a minute...
The whole crime out of hand thing started when we quit hanging outlaws ion the courthouse square.
They can outlaw guns, swords, daggers, even cigar pen-knives but until they go back to hanging in the courthouse square the day after the jury returns a verdict you are going to have crime and criminals.
A bumper sticker I haven't seen in some time:
"When Guns Are Outlawed, Only Outlaws Will Own Guns"
Now.
To support my argument against capital punishment I would state that there is a way that would eliminate wrongful death of an innocent person.
Hanging in the courthouse square is appropriate for repeat offenses and career criminals.
Hamg 'em!!!

Don't laugh!


This is already the case in the UK, and now they're talking about banning steak knives.

BB guns? Banned.



buck

It is certain that justice used to be much swifter. I read an account of the execution of a local man that took place just 5 months after conviction, the entire appeals process having run it's course. That however occurred in 1930 and the hanging wasn't public.

NASCAR has replaced public execution as a non-theatrical blood spectacle.

Now, concerning you capital punishment position; under your system we would all be able to off our ex-wives and NOT get the needle?

Brian

As I recall my first ever blog essay treated with the absolute penchant for bans demonstrated by the Virginia legislation every year.

Getting out in front of politicians on a wacko idea is getting tougher and tougher.

What's next clubs and rocks?

Samson killed a thousand men with the jawbone of an donkey. Does that mean we can ban democrats?

Hahahahaha!

I think it was the jawbone of an assss, in which case yes, we can ban Dems.

Isn't that their mascot?

Brian

I see you prefer the King James version, I was using the American Standard which says donkey.

It helps to differentiate between democrats, as represented by the donkey logo, from the rest of those so called leaders who have slain millions with their jawbones since the time of Samson. HahaHa!

Sgt.Relic

Don't forget plastic knives,you can make a DANDY shank out of one.Next will be rocks. Bang two of them together just right,and long enough,voila! a weapon! NASCAR a blood-sport?? The way the racing is going with this new car,they don't even wreck at Bristol anymore. If you had said bore-sport instead,I could agree with you.Talladega this week,it ought to interesting to say the least. Unless one car can get out front,that is.The restrictor plate races are the ONLY ones lately where there actually IS some semblance of "racing" going on.

Next

Ban paper. Paper cuts can get infected and hurt really really bad

You're kidding!


They changed the BIBLE?

A "donkey"?


A jackass is NOT a "donkey".

What's next? A Shakespeare update?

"Bummer! Yorrick's dead
and he was my homey..."

U R SmRT!!

That's good, Sarge. Stay ahead of the monkeys. You're thinking cause it's not illegal, yet? :)

New Rantom thoughts, at my place. heh.

Golly!

Do you think Granny's knitting needles will be next? What about hypodermic needles? Aaaaaaaah! Pine needles! The pine trees are all terrorists! Run for your lives!

Hmmm...did I hyperventilate appropriately enough?

Brian

Straight up, there are lots of them these days. What's next? The texting bible!

W d jaw of an (_!_) av I slain a K men

clyde

And toothbrushes!

OK, you caught me. I haven't followed NASCAR for years but all the drivers I used to follow all got killed.

I know what your thinking: Hey, he lives down south he should love NASCAR but it turns out what I loved most about it was drinking beer so when I stopped drinking......HaHaHaHaHa!

boaz

Paper cuts are just the worst but if we stop making paper the trees will takeover the earth!

Save the people, kill a tree.

Nee

"You're thinking cause it's not illegal, yet?"

Give the president a chance, he's only been in office for a 100 days. Suppression of free speech is probably a 2nd quarter goal.

Interface

Well done! I detected just the right touch of illogic and mindless fear tinged with a touch of hysteria which is so important in today's frightening world.

One small correction; you can't call them terrorists unless they're American trees. That should be "disaster making trees" if they are located outside the country.

I may have just saved you a trip to Montana/Gitmo! You'll probably thank me later. HaHaHa!

Sgt Relic

Next will be leter openers. You will have to fill out paper work to purchase one. Then they can move on to the staplers.

As for the needles, my sister is a diabetic and when she gets them she does fill out paper work and when the container of used needles is taken to the drop off spot, she has to sign some other stuff.

What next? Rulers?

Sue

Let's face it, even a world swaddled in bubble wrap is going to have somebody getting off'ed......WITH BUBBLE WRAP!!!

That's interesting about the diabetic needles control. Our dog was diabetic and I was able to buy needles and insulin without prescription at the local pharmacy.

We stuffed them in a plastic milk container and turned them in at the vet labeled with the dog's name. No controls at all that I could see.

Sarge


New essay up at the Island.

Sue

Yes, RULERS need to go on the list. Especially those used by nuns at Catholic schools.
I just know that my eighth grade teacher would have qualified as a man(or is that nun)-caused-disaster-causer if Nappy was in charge 45 years ago.
Sister Theresa Marie seemed to have something personal against my knuckles - or maybe it was just because I was a smart(_!_) even back then.

Sgt.Relic

Hmm... Guess I hadn't made that connection.I'm not a drinker either,since I REALLY don't like being a barfer!mwahahahaha They had not only 1,but 2 big wrecks today. Lap8,along with 180. Last lap,Keselowski punted Carl Edwards,and sent him airborne like a piece of paper. Right into the catch fence at about 200 mph.GOOD stuff,racin' the way they USED to do it. BTW, DHS may want to look into blades of grass as well.Ever get a GRASS cut? OUCH!!

Saltwater

I agree about the rulers! 45 years ago you didn't have to go to parochial school to get introduced to that little "enhanced technique".

I was mouthy in school. My Dad KNEW I was mouthy in school. They could have waterboarded me and it wouldn't have phased him. HaHaHa!

clyde

I saw the video clip over at fox news. Very cool! It also goes toward making my point; I saw all the best parts and it only took me 4 minutes. LOL!

Tiny cuts are the worst! I sliced a finger yesterday on a cigarette carton. If it festers and I die from it, does that go down as a smoking related death?

Sgt.Relic

A CIGARETTE CARTON?!?! WTF? No Obamacare for YOU,mister! mwahahahahaha On my mom's d.c. it had cause of death,COPD,due to smoking.If I'm lyin' I'm cryin' and I ain't shed a tear.

Clyde

It's a crap shoot.

The race is on to see what gets me first, swine flu from some illegal, Mesothelioma from living aboard ship where airing bedding included shaking out the asbestos dust that leaked from the pipes, or one of the many "Agent Orange" related goodies.

If the second-hand smoke theories are to be believed, then living with my father and grandfather, both smokers, did me in before I ever got started.

It's a mystery! Heck, I could just as easily get nailed on the interstate.

Sgt Relic

Yes, we have some rules here in the golden state. My sister has to get her insulin with a perscription. She has a pump, so her supplies come from the company online.

With the needles, she has a special plastic container. When it is filled, we take it to the drop off drugstore and then we sign some paperwork.

As for bubble wrap, that could be deadly. By the way, have you registered your stapler yet? I am sure that will be on the list to get a license. Oh and those electronic staplers, those are weapons, I say!

saltwater

Rulers will be next in line! :)
What next?

Et Tu Relic?

My wife YES! My dog MAYBE! My sword NEVER! Listen you commie, I have a backyard full of squirrels and if I wasnt out there with my sword they would be digging up my rutabagas. And what about arguments in traffic? What am I going to use to get some respect from my fellow motorists, a pistol? When our Founding Fathers put on their uniforms they put on their SWORDS! You hippies just went too far...

Sue

You're right! Staplers use the same technology as nail guns which can be deadly, as we saw recently in Australia. Here's a link:

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,517699,00.html

Skep

Those squirrels are just looking for a better way of life and they are harder working too! How can you justify keeping all the rutabagas to yourself?

We are going to have to TAKE some of those rutabagas and redistribute them to those who don't have any rutabagas.

You want to treat those innocent squirrels just like the criminal Bush did the victims of Katrina or maybe you would rather ship them to one of the illegal wars to be killed by.......SWORDS!

So, old dead slave owning white men owned swords and you think that gives you the right to slaughter these innocents.

Have you even tried diplomacy?

Woodland squirrels are sensitive creatures and you should try and learn all you can about their robust culture and traditions.

They were here first! We stole this country from them....Ok, I'm all out of leftisms. HaHaHa!

What About Baseball Bats?

Sarge, all this talk about swords and knives but nothing about baseball bats?

Quite frankly, I'm shocked!

Here in Mississippi, baseball bats and tire irons are favored weapons by many. I have a cousin that swears by them. (Personally, I think he is a dingbat, a rifle has the ability to reach out and touch some one that a bat doesn't have. BTW, if he reads this, I ask him to not insult our family by leaving threats at Sgt Relic's site. Bobby, you can call me and give me the threats over the phone.)

All kidding aside, the UK has already gone down this road. Can the US Dumbocraps be far behind?

GG

In the former Soviet bloc Poland, where firearms are strickly regulated, the weapon of choice is the Louisville Slugger. Sports equipment isn't banned!

I'm with on the firearms vs. ball bats thinking, less practice, less energy expended, better outcomes.

I'd like to see that cousin of yours retrieve a kidnapped ship Captain with a tire iron! Board'm in the smoke and give'm the wood, or is that aluminum?!

Sgt Relic

One additional thing. My dingbat cousin did call me, and he did relate all manner of threats.

He also said that while he liked rifles, pistols, knives, swords, and shotguns; he did enjoy the "personal attention" that only a baseball bat or tire iron can give.

I still think he is a dingbat. And he is a typical Mississippian.

GG

I fully understand. I think I may have mentioned before that I have a large numbers of relatives living in the Meridian MS area.

Folks, with names like Lou Bob and Nugget, if that gives you a clue. HaHa!

Animals can use clubs, it's firearms that set us apart. One of my all time favorite movies, "The Man Who Would Be King", contains a pertinent quote.

Sean Connery, as Daniel Dravot, while training irregular troops, says to them, "Now listen to me you benighted muckers. We're going to teach you soldiering. The world's noblest profession. When we're done with you, you'll be able to slaughter your enemies like civilized men."

That kind of says it all!

Sarge


New one up at my place; shameless plug.

Sgt. Under My System..

Yeah
But just the 1st wife.
The 2nd would be a repeat offense and you'd definitely get the needle.

Also:

You think banning swords is a joke. But we are not too far off.

Already ANY knife that has both edges sharpened is considered a dagger and is illegal.

Oh, Yeah

And pushbutton (switchblade) knives are illegal almost everywhere.

Speaking of this flu thing.

I never had the Swine flux.
I never had the Asian flux.
but
I did catch the plain ol' flux from an Asian pig...

Buck

I don't harbor any illusions about politicians and their willingness to ban everything under the sun. I was kind of struck by the irony of two stories involving swords in one week.

Switchblades are illegal in Virginia, so you have to drive to NC, about 12 miles, if you want a switchblade.

That's good news on the capital punishment, now, I wonder where she's living these days? LOL!

"Filipino Fall Apart"! Now that's a bullet I did manage to dodge. It sounds like you were yet another victim of Po City's hospitality. HaHaHa!

Sarge

There is one incident in 'Gulag Archipelago' where the author recounts an argument between an interrogator and his subject. The interrogator wanted to write 'My secret underground weapons arsenal' on the report, the subject wanted to change that to 'my old rusty penknife'. There is no escape from left-wing idiocy. We are all guilty, they just havent had the resources to round us up yet.

Skep

The camps won't be too bad, at least you'll be among like-minded individuals. Who knows? You might get a book out of the deal!

I'm sure

the louisvill slugger co is next. How many terrible baseball bats are out there???

Shadow

Welcome!

I see you grasp the magnitude of this problem. Baseball bat ownership is massive! Why, even wussy New York metrosexuals have them and that doesn't even touch on golf club owners.

We have all seen what one of those deadly weapons can do in the hands of a Kennedy! No one is safe!

Yeah, Sarge

Olangapo was a bee eye tee see hach.

Damn! It was hard being home ported in Yokosuka on Comseventhflt for 3 years... That admiral believed in Eisenhower's "People to People" program. We steamed.

buck

I know the feeling. When I went to MarDet USS Albany, home ported in Norfolk, my hometown, I thought I had scored big time being so close to home.

It was a pipe dream! That ship had some kind of motto like "We Don't Rust as Fast" or some other mess but it should have been "Haze Grey and Underway" cause that sucker steamed all the time.

I figured it out once just for giggles. Two years to the day I got transfered having done two Meds, a North Atlantic, and countless whiskey runs to the Caribbean, and that doesn't count doing donuts at the Capes on workups and gun shoots.

Grand total of time in Norfolk, 5 months on port and starboard liberty and when you factor being restricted to the ship whenever our CO got a wild hair, maybe 60 days total.

I would have gotten the same amount of leave in that time frame no matter where I was stationed!

You can't beat the system!!!

Sarge

How do you post so that I can have text and pictures?? Step by step. I have tried all day and I still have not figured it out. I am stubborn. This I know. Thanks.

Nee

Send me an email at SgtRelic@gmail.com and I'll be glad to help you out on the pics process by return email.

Sarge


New one up at my place. Shameless plug!

next on the hit list...

dental tools
slingshots
pipe wrenches
meggers (ask an electrician)
sporks
dental floss
propane and propane accessories
helicopter rotor blades
walk-in coolers
spitwads
novelty items from that certain video store
banana peels
toothpicks

and let's not even get into the Monty Python skit about how to defend yourself against a man attacking you with a bowl of fresh fruit...

Crawfish

All are potentially deadly weapons, and as you correctly observed, none is be feared more than a mass attack of raspberry wielding thugs! HaHaHa!

New Law

Anything capable of dealing more than 1d4 points of damage is now outlawed.

Double the jail time on critical hits.

Okay, I'm done being a nerd now.

Ouch!

Arturick, now is the time when I'm supposed to act like I don't know what your referencing, otherwise people will find out that I too speak nerd.

I'm always gettin' outed on my own blog!

When the swords are real, it doesn't do any good to reroll.