Townhall.com, Where Your Opinion Counts
Talk Radio:   Bill Bennett   Mike Gallagher   Dennis Prager   Michael Medved   Hugh Hewitt   
BREAKING NEWS  LeftArrow - Townhall.com : Conservative, Political, Republican   RightArrow - Townhall.com : Conservative, Political, Republican  
Columns, funnies & more in your inbox!
Login | What's Hot
  • Check the boxes and send us your email address to receveive your free newsletter
  • Your daily must-read of conservative columns, cartoons and news. Coulter, Sowell, Krauthammer and more.
  • Townhall.com’s weekly inside scoop on what’s happening behind the scenes in the world of politics. When news breaks, we report.
  • Signup to receive the latest daily Townhall cartoons

Comment on: Heartland Patriot

Intellectual Odds & Ends

31 Comments
Friday, November, 24, 2006 11:18 AM BrianR writes:

Funny stuff, Scottie

.
EmailItEmail It | Print It Print It |  Flag as OffensiveFlag as Offensive
Friday, November, 24, 2006 11:53 AM DavidMac writes:

Good questions, Scottie

I don't have the ability to formulate comments like that, but there are things I wonder about:

Why don't liberals consider trees as renewable?

Why do liberals denigrate SUV's, then drive away in SUV's?

Liberals constantly whine about the government, then want more government.

Why hasn't John Kerry released his military records?

Why is there still a DH rule in the American League?

Why doesn't Wile E. Coyote sue Acme Manufacturing?

Why do we still have Daylight Savings Time?

Why aren't we still concerned about giant asteroids hitting the earth? It was all the rage a few years ago.

Is global cooling (ice ages) better than global warming?
EmailItEmail It | Print It Print It |  Flag as OffensiveFlag as Offensive
Friday, November, 24, 2006 6:39 PM Scottie writes:

Brian

Thanks for stopping by. What no contibutions? I'm hurt :-(
EmailItEmail It | Print It Print It |  Flag as OffensiveFlag as Offensive
Friday, November, 24, 2006 6:48 PM Scottie writes:

David Mac

Let me spin a couple of your ideas:

Why do Hollywood environmentalists fly in private jets that are WAYYYY less efficient than Hummers?

Where does Wile E Coyote get the money to pay Acme for all the crap he buys?

Why do we think WE are the cause of global warming, and that we have the power to change the climate back? Why do we consider readings made with mercury thermometers a hundred years ago to be accurate within one degree?
EmailItEmail It | Print It Print It |  Flag as OffensiveFlag as Offensive
Friday, November, 24, 2006 7:11 PM jerubaal writes:

An answer to one of them:

"Can an all powerful God make something so big he can’t lift it? Think about it."

No, because then He wouldn't be all powerful. You have to pick either "all powerful" or "too weak to lift it". In other words, it's one of those rare false questions.

Another example, imagine hearing this one on cross-examination:

"Have you stopped beating your wife, yes or no?"
EmailItEmail It | Print It Print It |  Flag as OffensiveFlag as Offensive
Friday, November, 24, 2006 7:24 PM Peppermint writes:

Cute article

Why does men's hair fall out of their head, but grow longer in their ears and nose?

EmailItEmail It | Print It Print It |  Flag as OffensiveFlag as Offensive
Friday, November, 24, 2006 7:56 PM Scottie writes:

Peppermint

Thanks for stopping by and adding your comment.

Personally, mine didn't fall out, it just migrated south (ears, nose, neck and back).
EmailItEmail It | Print It Print It |  Flag as OffensiveFlag as Offensive
Friday, November, 24, 2006 8:00 PM Scottie writes:

Jerubaal

Here's a couple more in that vein:

Was that your first sexual encounter with a dog?

Did you pay back the money you embezzeled?
EmailItEmail It | Print It Print It |  Flag as OffensiveFlag as Offensive
Saturday, November, 25, 2006 4:00 AM DavidMac writes:

Scottie

Wile E. Coyote puts it all on his credit cards, buys it on EBay. He gets income from a trust fund set up by Rin Tin Tin, his biological great grandfather who had a tryst with an Arizona coyote in the late 1800's.

The Hollywood environmentalists fly around in private jets because they are better (and richer) than us. And they won't let you forget it, either.

Global warming/global cooling: the socialists had to chose one of 'em. They figured that since the earth is always either getting warmer or getting cooler, they had a 50% chance of getting it right. They blame you for it (instead of themselves) because they don't like intelligent people.
EmailItEmail It | Print It Print It |  Flag as OffensiveFlag as Offensive
Saturday, November, 25, 2006 11:49 AM Pistol writes:

Scottie

Where do they get the seeds to grow seedless orange trees?

If you put ice tea in a thermos it keeps it cold. If you put in hot coffee it keeps it hot. How does it know?
EmailItEmail It | Print It Print It |  Flag as OffensiveFlag as Offensive
Saturday, November, 25, 2006 1:44 PM buck writes:

Why Would Anyone Care What Hollywood

Personalities Think About Politics, Politicians or Global Warming?

Why does being an actor instantly make one an all seeing political genius?

Why am I even writing this???
EmailItEmail It | Print It Print It |  Flag as OffensiveFlag as Offensive
Saturday, November, 25, 2006 2:03 PM Scottie writes:

Pistol

Execellent additions, thanks man.
EmailItEmail It | Print It Print It |  Flag as OffensiveFlag as Offensive
Saturday, November, 25, 2006 2:05 PM Scottie writes:

Buck

Are you "bucking" for the dumbest question award or something? On second thought, I guess Hollywood is another one of life's imponderables.
EmailItEmail It | Print It Print It |  Flag as OffensiveFlag as Offensive
Saturday, November, 25, 2006 3:37 PM Peppermint writes:

Scottie

Thanks, now I know where the hair goes. Won't have to wonder about that one again.

How come one of your feet is shorter than the other?

It's true. Measure and you will see.

EmailItEmail It | Print It Print It |  Flag as OffensiveFlag as Offensive
Saturday, November, 25, 2006 3:56 PM Scottie writes:

Peppermint

George Carlin once said, "God is not perfect. He's not! It shows in his work."

I guess the lack of symetry in humans is just another quirky example.
EmailItEmail It | Print It Print It |  Flag as OffensiveFlag as Offensive
Saturday, November, 25, 2006 8:24 PM Goshawk writes:

Refreshing blog Scottie

I always enjoy the random thought questions similar to what Dr. Sowell publishes now and then.

The answer to your one question:

"How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?" Always asked, but never answered.

Has been answered.. "He would chuck as much wood as a Woodchuck could. If a Woodchuck could chuck wood."
EmailItEmail It | Print It Print It |  Flag as OffensiveFlag as Offensive
Saturday, November, 25, 2006 9:37 PM Scottie writes:

Thanks Goshawk

for not letting specificity get in your way! Thanks for dropping by. This is a lot more fun for a change.
EmailItEmail It | Print It Print It |  Flag as OffensiveFlag as Offensive
Saturday, November, 25, 2006 11:02 PM Peppermint writes:

Do you know how an owl fishes?

I do.
One night sitting on my boat in a cove just at dusk,
an owl swooped down over the water, not making one sound, and with one of his claws, just grabbed a fish right out of the water. Never made a ripple on the water either.
EmailItEmail It | Print It Print It |  Flag as OffensiveFlag as Offensive
Sunday, November, 26, 2006 1:28 PM SLW writes:

Why are carrots good for your eyes?

You never see a rabbit wearing eyeglasses.

How do you know when an elephant is in her period?

You find a quarter on your dresser and your mattress is gone.

Sorry, I coudn't resist...
EmailItEmail It | Print It Print It |  Flag as OffensiveFlag as Offensive
Sunday, November, 26, 2006 3:29 PM SLW writes:

I sincerely apologize

for the non-intellectual properties of my previous comments!

Love the post. Lots of good "food for thought."
EmailItEmail It | Print It Print It |  Flag as OffensiveFlag as Offensive
Sunday, November, 26, 2006 7:44 PM Scottie writes:

Sandra Wise

That was . . . something. Got a chuckle though, and that's the point. Thanks for stopping by and posting.
EmailItEmail It | Print It Print It |  Flag as OffensiveFlag as Offensive
Sunday, November, 26, 2006 10:57 PM SLW writes:

I have to redeem myself:

What is the definition of the word "is?"

Why are feminists not feminine?

Why are democrats not democratic?


EmailItEmail It | Print It Print It |  Flag as OffensiveFlag as Offensive
Sunday, November, 26, 2006 11:08 PM Scottie writes:

Sandra Wise

You are redeemed! Those are much better.
EmailItEmail It | Print It Print It |  Flag as OffensiveFlag as Offensive
Monday, November, 27, 2006 6:51 PM Cynewulf writes:

Reminds me of

Steven Wright. You could get a job writing his stuff.

"I was having trouble with my internet connection. So, I called Al Gore. But he didn't have time to help me. He was too busy looking for his keys. The ones to the lockbox. I told him I was surprised. Shouldn't he be busy inventing something? Like an AC unit for the earth? Which reminds me. Al's Dad was always saying, 'Close the door! What are you doing, trying to air condition the world?' Well. Yeah. They say, 'Bush lied, people died.' Was that a one time deal? Or does someone keel over every time he lies? If that's the case, shouldn't the Democrats placate him so he doesn't have to lie?..."

O.k. So, I'm not a good Steven Wright. But you could be. I especially liked the one about kamikaze pilots.
EmailItEmail It | Print It Print It |  Flag as OffensiveFlag as Offensive
Monday, November, 27, 2006 7:12 PM Scottie writes:

Cynewolf

Those are some pretty good ones. I love Steven Wright.

I spilled spot remover on my dog . . . he's gone!

EmailItEmail It | Print It Print It |  Flag as OffensiveFlag as Offensive
Monday, November, 27, 2006 9:30 PM Cynewulf writes:

More Steven Wright:

"What happens if you get scared half to death twice?"

http://www.weather.net/zarg/ZarPages/stevenWright.html
EmailItEmail It | Print It Print It |  Flag as OffensiveFlag as Offensive
Wednesday, November, 29, 2006 10:37 AM JustCurious writes:

HA!

Great post. Funny stuff. Things that make you wonder...
EmailItEmail It | Print It Print It |  Flag as OffensiveFlag as Offensive
Wednesday, November, 29, 2006 9:43 PM Scottie writes:

Just Curious

Thanks for stopping by and leaving a comment. Next time, you have to add a nugget to the pile of imponderables.
EmailItEmail It | Print It Print It |  Flag as OffensiveFlag as Offensive
Thursday, November, 30, 2006 12:23 AM Maggie writes:

Just what I needed

A little comic relief is nice for a change. Sorry I don't have any nuggets to add to your pile.
EmailItEmail It | Print It Print It |  Flag as OffensiveFlag as Offensive
Thursday, November, 30, 2006 7:07 AM Scottie writes:

Maggie

Thanks for stopping by. Come back anytime.
EmailItEmail It | Print It Print It |  Flag as OffensiveFlag as Offensive
Sunday, December, 10, 2006 2:53 PM B'LuvdNobl writes:

Odds-n-ends:-)

Feet are different sizes so that we can tell our left foot from our other left foot.

Contrary to popular belief men own no homes, women own the homes and let the men live in them.

What do you get when you cross an elephant and a penguin?

Where do the socks go when the laundry is done?

Where is the 'any' key on the keyboard?

If a frog had wings it would still bump it's butt
when it hopped.



EmailItEmail It | Print It Print It |  Flag as OffensiveFlag as Offensive