Real Solutions for Out of Wedlock births

about the psychology of sex and marriage.

But it isn't as hard as all that for young people to get married at 18, if they want to. Two college students or entry level workers can live together without necessarily spending more together than they would separately. There are two forces working against that.

One is middle-class prejudice against a couple marrying until they are financially secure--the education has been acquired, jobs are held, cars are owned. I think this is just a throwback to the times when children automatically followed marriage. I agree that children should be postponed until there is some financial security, but that does not mean that marriage has to be.

In my opinion the other force is also an old prejudice. There is an illusion that marriage is an impediment to your freedom and that you will never be so happy as when you're young and free to flirt and date and "play the field." Thus you find young people who view the commitment of marriage with fear and dread. As the full responsibilities of adulthood have been pushed beyond grad school, it has become customary to put any personal commitment off to the same time period. I can only say that marriage to a person you love and respect offers more freedom than being single and looking.

Your idea of allowing, say, sixteen-year-olds to marry and become parents with the full support of society has merit, but there are a lot of obstacles. It used to work because young couples lived with or near relatives, and could rely on support in their immaturity and inexperience. You might say parents extended themselves to help their children in their marriages instead of paying for college. It would be hard for today's youth to accept familial help with humility and a certain loss of privacy. Similarly, a lot of today's parents would be extremely reluctant to help young parents AND come up with their college tuition.

Good points all. Much of what you say fleshes out what I mean when I state there is simply no support for the idea, but I think parents need to take a long, hard look at that portion you said at the very last. They do not want to be held accountable for both their kid's early marital welfare and college. I have a whole book full of comments to make about college itself, and its effect on our society.

Maybe if college isn't cutting it for our families, we need to rethink the vast sums we are pouring into these institutions.

Thanks for dropping by.