President Renard on International Piracy

Would you consider yourself a radical right wing extremist? Your policy seems rife with common sense; perhaps politically incorrect. Don't you care about your image in the world?

From Ms. Ima Nitwit, Reporter for "New World Order News"

What action, if any, will you take if the Legislative Branch does not comply with your request? What are your options?

Bobbie: President Renard doesn't consider himself a right-wing extremist; he's always though of himself as pretty normal, and most Americans agree with that assessment. On the other hand, Janet Napolitano considers Mr. Renard a right-wing extremist -

http://reason.com/terroristquiz/?u=e64990bd10b5ef59af3637ca d112fb18

As for his image in the world, here was his answer to a similar question from what's left of the Boston Globe:

"Being the leader of the greatest nation in the world is not a popularity contest. I'm not concerned about my approval rating in Europe; Europe doesn't vote in our elections. They don't get to pick our leaders any more than we get to pick theirs.

"That being said, some world leaders are likely to publicly make untoward comments about 'cowboy diplomacy,' and privately be grateful we've solved a major problem, from which their own shipping lines will also benefit. I have no doubt I will be receiving such assurances over the next few days.

"I'm very encouraged by what I believe the pirates think about it. Given the choice of being sent to Davy Jones' locker, being bombed into extinction along with the people that shelter them, or finding something more productive to do with their lives than piracy, I'm optimistic that we will have helped these people make good life decisions.

"As long as they understand that America does not 'parlay,' I am pleased with that aspect of the issue."

Mrs. AL: the short version is: the voters have yardarms, too.

As a proponent of openness in government, Mr. Renard encourages voters to follow the voting records of their elected representatives. He is confident that this will result in some fresh faces in Washington after the mid-term elections. As he said in his speech last month in Indiana:

"You elected me and sent me to Washington to protect this nation's borders, dramatically reduce the size of government, end welfare, reduce and simplify taxes, restore our military, and regain our nation's rightful place. We are already achieving this.

"Now, I ask you to send legislators here who will contribute to this effort, rather than resist it. For far too long, career politicians have sat in Congress, frustrating the will of the people, lining the pockets of themselves and their inner circles. The best term limit is an informed voter."

That being said, Mr. Renard respects the checks-and-balances system of the three branches of government. He does insist that the Legislature, just like the Executive branch, will carry out the will of the people, and a hallmark of his administration will be using his influence and office publicly in order to accomplish that.

Would you consider the possibility of hiring mercenary sharpshooters as another means of defense, or the possibility of the chance for every cargo sailor to participate in firearms training?

Eric: President Renard did mention that, as far as Federal hiring goes, they are fully staffed. By "Federal" he means "military," and by "fully staffed," he means "SEALs" and "snipers." If you are presently in a service branch, you are welcome to apply to the program, and there is a school at Fort Benning, Georgia that holds a warm place in Mr. Renard's heart. He mentioned that to me while he was on his way to sign a bill fast-tracking the procurement of the M110 SASS for the Department of Defense.

There are no plans to embed personnel on civilian commercial cargo vessels, and there are no plans for Federal hiring for this; remember, Mr. Renard is committed to reducing the size of the Federal government. As a private-sector strategy, the various shipping lines may be considering either hiring qualified personnel for such duties, or providing specialized training to existing employees. There are certain advantages to this:

- for the company, the costs of providing the training, staffing the positions, and providing the "tools of the trade" would be totally deductable business expenses on their corporate taxes;

- the company's insurer might be open to discounts on coverage, the same way a homeowner might qualify for a discount for installing fire alarms, or an automobile owner might qualify for one for having airbags;

- for a crew member who obtained such training at his own expense, this will qualify as a deduction for unreimbursed business expense if he itemizes on his tax returns.

I cannot, however, comment on the rumor that when President Renard met with the CEO of Maersk Lines, he accidentally left behind his May issue of Soldier of Fortune magazine, open to the classified ads.

Excellent response. So when are you going to run for office?

Mrs. AL: thanks for the vote of confidence - but I'm afraid that at least for the present, that's the only vote in my favor I can qualify for. Among the reasons:

(1) I can't afford it, and I have this problem with fundraising. There's not enough soap in the world to scrub the oily feeling off my hands. We don't even take a collection in my church. If I'm not comfortable handling the Lord's money, how do you think I'll feel about political contributions?

(2) My wife, who is a crack shot, insists on heading up my Secret Service detail. The three most awesome words in the English language: "FLOTUS is packin'."

(3) Low threshold of frustration. I have a hard enough time coping with bad drivers in Southern California - how am I supposed to have a conversation with Barney Frank?

(4) The party leadership has some issues about my planned executive order that authorizes waterboarding Arlen Specter.

(5) "Nice country you have there, Mr. Ahmadinejad. It would be a shame if something were to happen to it." The State Department doesn't approve of this type of diplomacy.

I've toyed with the idea of running, so anything could happen - note that I did say "at least for the present." Keep your eyes on Len Renard, though - he's going to have a recurring role here at STAND. I'm kind of hoping he gets seen as the president we really wish we had - and haven't had in a long twenty years...

You better watch it Keith. Janet, Holder et al are watching you and your nom de plume. I expect you to be hung in DC to please Soros and Moveone within days. Drop by.

You have every qualification. Humor, healthy self-image, willingness to take the bull by the horns (and do whatever it is one does when one has a bull by the horns) and, a wife who can stand the heat of the whole thing. And most importantly ...

It is clear you would understnd your function and not be a power-money grabber.

Doesn't get much better than that -- great Conservative values any electorate would need.

BTW, #5 is a classic!!

Rackoons: there's a "Blazing Saddles" response about me being hung in DC that I won't make, this being a family-oriented blog and all. Suffice to say, I'm guessing you mean "hanged."

Heh. Snicker.

Humor aside, there's a reason I blog under my real name: it's a great big "I-dare-you" to the other side. If Napolitano, Holder, or any of them want to take a swing at me, they know right where to find me.

Abraham Lincoln taught many valuable lessons, and here's one: right makes might. Even there were only one American standing and telling the truth, that truth would be a powerful for. But there is not just one. There are MANY, and we are not being silent. I've heard estimates in excess of a million attendees at the Tea Party Protests last week, and I believe it. If they were to come and lock me up, a hundred more would take my place.

I am an American. I am a free man. I am a citizen, not a slave, not a serf, not the property of our elected overlords in DC or anywhere else. I may be only a single candle of truth, but it is a candle that will never be extinguished, and together with you and everyone else like us, that truth - the truth of free people everywhere - burns like a thousand suns and leaves no dark hiding places. They may steal this country, tax it and spend it into servitude, but they will never own us.

Less than a year ago, some people laughed when I first posted the John Galt post. Look at us now - uncountable John Galts have stood up and opposed the direction this nation is being taken. And we've barely started. We have risen up against a sea of troubles, and what yet remains to be seen is whether we can, by opposing, end them.

Mrs. AL: well, we'll just have to wait and see what the future holds - who knows where we may be in the days to come, or what decisions we'll make?

As for #5, I shared with my father a few hours ago that in a somewhat more twisted version of this, you'd see either Secretary of State Jack Bauer or Secretary of Defense Chuck Norris arranging for I'm-In-A-Jihad to wake up and find the head of his favorite goat in his bed with him. I know that's just wrong on about five different levels, but still, I don't care who you are, that's funny right there...