Welcome

Thank you for your lovely letter. I sometimes lose hope for women in this country of ours. Ladies tend to be only mechanically inclined in all the wrong things. It seems most have no problem wielding a curling iron while making a pot of coffee but become flummoxed when left to load a simple assault rifle! What are they thinking? It is so irresponsible to make yourself beautiful when you don't learn how to maim men who will inevitably make unwelcome advances. When I am sporting a new outfit that displays my fabulous legs, I often find occasion to disable a gawking stranger with a well-placed warning shot to their foot. I have the barrel of my semi-automatic coyly peeking out of the end of my Chanel clutch. So I simply look like I am going for a breath-mint and they never even see it coming.

What we have learned from Columbine is this: Guns don't kill people. Unsaved children do. While I am aware that the Constitution only guarantees citizens the right to have firearms in order to maintain a "militia," I am completely in favor of how the actual wording of the Second Amendment has been routinely ignored and mangled by we people who love it most. Yes, we have a lot of people shot to death every day of the year, but it is very rare that they adorable, well-dressed, peppy, white children from acceptable suburbs as they were in Colorado. Indeed, from the pictures I see in the papers, most people who are shot to death are seldom particularly attractive. And while I would never necessarily wish a homely person dead, it is hard to muster even passing chagrin when it occurs.

If you follow her link to “Deacon” Fred’s sermon, this God fearing woman, a hardcore Baptist who teases and taunts strange men with her fabulous legs will show you a bigger psycho than her. A “deacon” who knows precious little about the Bible. Who is not smart enough to Google the verse before he chooses the side that is against God. Some people’s kids.