Charity begins at home

I have this strange suspicion that environmentalists lie awake at night worrying that they might forget their large burlap carry-alls. Because if they are confronted with "plastic or paper", they will certainly have some sort of stroke. After all, do they deplete precious petrochemical and use up yet another non-biodegradable plastic bag, or do they sacrifice a sacred tree and waste landfill space for a paper bag?

Then again, isn't burlap often manufactured by underpaid third world labor? And don't they use chemical fertilizers and use non-renewable, soil depleting farming practices?

Well, best to carry a certified fair trade, organically produced hemp bag then...

Ah, how much free time some people must have, to be able to actually worry about such things. I wish my life were so free of care that I could worry over trivialities.

...you mean all benighted mothers aren't ecoterrorists?!?