but the theater really is on fire

I wish more people looked at the whole problem the way you do.

Do you remember "The Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl?" We finally got it on DVD and I was fascinated by the nature of the curse. The pirates couldn't die until they returned all the Aztec gold and a blood sacrifice by a specific person removed the curse. Although the Christian message is hidden under the story, it's still there. The pirates under the curse are very much like those lost in Hells of their own choosing.

We could point to the Islamo-Nazis, who believe Paradise awaits them and it is far preferable to living in this world which is a hell of rules that are impossible to live by.

Or we could point to the hedonists who bury themselves in porno or other filth, or do drugs, or over-indulge in food (or any of the other seven deadly sins).

Perhaps the question to ask them is "Are you happy with the life you are living and the choices you have made?"

It might make them realize that they are horribly unhappy, like the pirates who could enjoy none of the good food and drink the captain gave the heroine. He could only look enviously at her as she enjoyed it.

Then you ask them why they're miserable (once they admit to it) and you listen to them pour out the life story they've probably never shared with anyone else. That's confession--and they have to go through it if they're to have any chance of recognizing grace. Your responsibility then is to provide the comfort that God so wants to give them.

What usually lies at the bottom of these horror stories is a child abandoned or abused by his parents. What can he think but that he is worthless? He turns that condemnation inward on himself, then outward onto everyone else because it is too painful to bear without comfort.

At root, we judge ourselves as if we were God--and we judge ourselves with extreme prejudice. This is the log in our eye that Jesus was referring to. The fact that we refuse to see it when we complain about the speck in our neighbor's eye is a protective measure, because if we looked long and hard at it, we would terminate ourselves with that same extreme prejudice.

You're very right when you say, "We should never preach sin and judgment apart from grace and we should never preach grace apart from sin and judgment. We should preach sin and judgment through tears of compassion and grace through tears of joy."

I would only suggest that piling judgment on top of judgment raises the defenses, whereas asking a simple question--"Are you happy?" as many times as may be necessary--while providing a living example of God's grace--may eventually enable the lost soul to try anything to ease the pain.

But these are just my thoughts. How valid they are, I can't say, since I'm not a preacher, just a some time story teller. However, I have noticed that a gentle smile and friendly tone of voice do wonders to comfort those who are upset or frustrated with a problem for which they don't know the solution.