Newsweek Finds Religion

Pete Chase made a good argument against Lisa Miller’s argument for granting civil rights and religious approval to gay marriage. I have been publically married three time to women and had one clandestine marriage to Ernest Borgnine back when gay marriages in broadcasting were kept hush-hush. All four marriages ended in divorce (the three with females dissolved here and one in the Dominican Republic where Ernie and I were wed five years earlier). I am here to tell you, my fellow Americans, that the institution of marriage is a tricky one. The women I married were not able to bring me the fruit of their loins which caused me to move to more fertile pastures. The marriage to Ernie failed when we both became too fat to have sexual relations. All four relationships were filled with malice. Looking back on it now, their value sets were not on the same frequency as mine (i.e. they had poor moral fiber). I must say if gay people want to get married, let them suffer along with married folk. And that, my fellow americans, is how we roll - GOP style.