Mike Gallagher

So Sen. John Kerry was kidding?   He called his ugly, mean-spirited attack on every single American who has ever served or is serving in the military a "botched joke" about the President?

As Dr. Evil from the Austin Powers movies would say:  "Riiiiiiight."

The junior Senator from Massachusetts looks out at a group of college kids and tells them that if they do their homework and study hard, they won't wind up being "stuck in Iraq."  After the stuff hits the fan, he marches up to another podium and insists he was just "joking" about President Bush and his "broken policies."   And refuses to apologize to anyone.

Nice try, Senator.  Classy.  Bright.  Insightful.  And boy, are you funny.  There's nothing like joking about our troops and their commander-in-chief during a time of war where our soldiers are fighting and dying that can bring down the house.

Please remember to tip your waitress.

But since humor is the order of the day, I think I can just join the crowd:

Did you hear the one about the junior Senator from Massachusetts who likes to wear women's lingerie?

Oh, never mind - that was just a botched joke about the economic policy of France.

In the scheme of things, I wonder what voters will consider a more important "scandal":  a disgraced Republican Congressman who was immediately drummed out of his job after it was revealed that he sent nasty e-mails to pages or a sitting U.S. Senator who claims that our troops are lazy, ignorant and uneducated?

I hear that John Kerry beats his wife so often that her nickname is "Black-and-blue Teresa."

Oops, another botched joke, I meant to address the climate conditions of Brazil.

Kerry's angry press conference yesterday was really a classic.  This is a guy who has practically topped Al Gore or Howard Dean in falling apart at the seams.  "Doughy Rush Limbaugh?"  "Stuffed shirt Tony Snow?"  But most importantly, he's a man who doesn't even have enough honor or courage to apologize for his ridiculous slur.  He spends so much time bragging about what a "war hero" he was that he doesn't even have the decency to say he's sorry to the family members of slain American soldiers, or the heroic, SMART men and women at Walter Reed who have lost their limbs but not their spirit.

John Kerry pulls the wings off flies, kicks his dog, and is an internet porn addict.

There I go again, just another "botched joke."  What a riot, eh?

The other gutless Democrat in this whole debacle is the unnamed Democratic congressman who told ABC News, "He blew it for us in 2004, what's he trying to do, blow it for us in 2006, too?"  If only that Democrat would have been willing to go on the record and identify him/herself, Americans might be able to have one shred of hope for this shameful political party.  So far, not a single Democrat has had the sense or decency to denounce Kerry for what he said.  That's pretty typical for them.  Compare that to all the Republicans who had no trouble throwing Mark Foley out to the curb, where he belongs.

John Kerry is a national disgrace who will never again hold any other political office than the one he has and has forced a number of decent people to vote for Republicans next week.

And that is no joke.


Mike Gallagher

Mike Gallagher is a nationally syndicated radio host, Fox News Channel contributor and guest host and author of 50 Things Liberals Love to Hate.