Michael Medved

In a controversial Pentagon decision, Captain Owen Honors lost command of the nuclear aircraft carrier Enterprise because he produced “raunchy videos” three years ago. One of Captain Honor’s most publicized misdeeds involved use of foul language, including unacceptable “gay slurs,” recalling the Captain of THE HMS PINAFORE in Gilbert and Sullivan’s 1878 satirical classic. Mocking a short-lived Royal Navy drive for better manners in the fleet, he declares—

Bad language and abuse

I never, never use

Whatever the emergency

Though “bother it!” I may

Occasionally say

I never use a big, big “D!”


When his crew questions him with, “What never?” he answers, “Well, Hardly Ever.”

Captain Honors can take small comfort that, for generations, Navy attempts to impose decorous behavior on rough and ready sailors have inspired more mirth than support.

Michael Medved

Michael Medved's daily syndicated radio talk show reaches one of the largest national audiences every weekday between 3 and 6 PM, Eastern Time. Michael Medved is the author of eleven books, including the bestsellers What Really Happened to the Class of '65?, Hollywood vs. America, Right Turns, The Ten Big Lies About America and 5 Big Lies About American Business
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