Poll: Santa's a Democrat

Guy Benson

12/11/2012 10:33:00 AM - Guy Benson

In case you hadn't already guessed, this is PPP poll-trolling, but at least it's fun poll-trolling -- unlike some of their other recent projects. Anyway, turns out Santa's a Democrat, or something:
 

PPP’s new holiday season poll sees voters in giving moods towards both Barack Obama and Mitt Romney - voters believe both men will be receiving presents from Santa this holiday season rather than a lump of coal, with Romney perhaps getting some sympathy presents. Voters say Romney will get presents by a 63/37 margin compared to 51/49 for Obama. Some other findings: 44% of respondents said Santa was a Democrat while 28% say he is a Republican.


When this, er, "news" broke last night, I tweeted that if Ole St. Nick really is a Democrat, he's certainly a demographic anomaly.  I mean, he's an old, pudgy, married, white guy.  That's pretty much the Republican base right there.  But no; there's something much more powerful at play here, friends.  Above all else, Santa is known for magically giving away "free" things.  That's a Democrat.  Also, enjoyment of his status and power is dependent on a willing suspension of logistical and economic reality.  That's a Democrat.  On the other hand, as Allahpundit notes, Santa is a quintessential societal "maker" -- and, unlike Democrats, he asks for only good behavior and cookies in return for his generosity.  I'm also a little confused by the Romney/Obama gifts vs. coal poll results.  Everyone knows that Romney doesn't need any trinkets from Santa; he can buy anything he wants with the fortune he amassed shipping jobs overseas and bankrupting companies, right?  So why do voters say his stocking will be full on Christmas morning?  Maybe it's just a dose of sympathetic, post-election goodwill towards the loser, whereas the president remains more (cough) polarizing.  I thought for a moment that it could be clever, widespread turnabout for Mitt's infamous "gifts" comments, but there's no way that 63 percent of respondents would put that together.  Hardcore political junkies might make that joke, but not normal people.  In any case, I must say that all of those people who said Obama should receive coal in his stocking are quite racist, indeed.  Coal?  There's a dogwhistle if I've ever heard one.  I trust MSNBC will thoroughly explore this angle.  The only other quasi-serious piece of data from this survey is a seven-point plurality who say Christmas is under attack.  Evidently a lot of people aren't thrilled with the politically correct tyranny of "Happy Holidays," and dislike the clan of hapless atheists who go out of their way to tick people off around this time every year.  How meaningful were the rest of the results?  You can judge for yourself:
 

- A majority of voters (52/45) said they believe in Santa Claus. 80% said they were on Santa’s “Nice” list to just 11% who said they were on his “Naughty” list.  (My note, 45 percent of voters have no sense of humor whatsoever).

- If voters saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus, 43% would tell Daddy, 40% would not and 17% weren’t sure.

- When asked, “If Grandma got run over by a reindeer, would you press charges against Santa?” 61% would not press charges, to 24% who would. 33% of Democrats would press charges compared to 19% of Republicans.  


Parting thoughts: Are the Elves unionized?  And will the North Pole comply with Obamacare by setting up an exchange?  Didn't beardless, younger Santa just decline to do so?


UPDATE - This poll is horribly skewed towards Democrats.  The partisan sample is clearly...oh, nevermind.