Newest Conservative Hero: Spongebob

Cortney O'Brien

11/8/2013 11:05:00 AM - Cortney O'Brien

Conservatives have an unlikely hero in someone who lives in a pineapple under the sea. In an upcoming episode of Nickelodeon’s Spongebob Squarepants, Spongebob is laid off from his job, yet refuses to become lethargic.

From the New York Post,

Lest he sit around idly, mooching off the social services of Bikini Bottom, a depressed SpongeBob sets out to return to gainful employment wherever he can find it.

No spoilers — but it’s safe to say that our hero doesn’t end up on food stamps, as his patty-making skills turn out to be in high demand.

Learning of Spongebob’s refusal to accept government handouts, conservatives are rallying behind the cartoon pineapple, leaving liberal activists such as Al Sharpton flabbergasted,

“The right-wingers found a new hero in its war against the poor. SpongeBob SquarePants. That’s right. SpongeBob SquarePants. The GOP is now using the lovable cartoon sea sponge as a new way to attack the safety net.”

I suppose the breathless Sharpton is forgetting when his party used Big Bird and other lovable Sesame Street characters in their attacks on Mitt Romney? After the Republican presidential candidate mentioned he’d cut funding to PBS, liberals used his comment to produce ads full of furry friends to negatively campaign against him. Then, they even organized a ‘Million Muppet March’ on the National Mall.

Yeah, Spongebob’s not looking so bad. Tune in to Nickelodeon Monday at 7 p.m. so your kids can understand what hard work looks like.