At its best, a job interview is like free therapy, where you can receive valuable feedback on your career and your life from a person who is better than you because they have a job and you don't.
I don't know why they didn't ask you. When Inc.com wanted to know the eight things really successful people do, they should have come to you. Instead, the wackadoos at Inc.com went to Kevin Daum.
Considering that the steady decline in your productivity and the sudden spike in your snarky attitude did not result in the firing you so richly deserve, it's clear that if you want a position where you don't have to work at all, you will need to work a lot harder.
I was shocked to see that some of the fusty, dusty relics are not blissfully sitting in their Barcaloungers, enjoying can after can of gourmet cat food. Apparently, their Barcaloungers have been repossessed, and they can't afford to buy cat food, so they're looking for tips on how to look for a job
If getting a new job every week seems unrealistic, you really should talk to Roman Krznaric. Mr. Krznaric is an author, and in the week he held that position, or so I presume, he dashed out a book, "How to Find Fulfilling Work," in which he promotes the concept of changing jobs about as often as you change your underwear.
I am super-busy, you know. Or maybe you don't know, so let me tell you. I am busy. In fact, I am so busy being busy that I really don't have time to tell you that I'm busy.
Apparently, with the entire world desperately trying to get a job or keep a job, somewhere out there in cubicle land are a group of people who can't figure out how to get themselves fired.
If no one at work has told you that recently, it's only because the people with whom you work are jealous of your wonderfulness. They are petty and stupid and resent your soaring intelligence and your super-model good looks.
Imagine the horror show your life will become when your company introduces a program that will have you and your co-workers sweating like the cursed employees of Colorado-based Datalogix, where a typical day can have these poor devils "thrusting 20-pound medicine balls overhead, while their Spandex-clad co-workers sprinted up and down the lobby's carpeted staircase."
While this penguin question strikes me as the oddest of the oddball questions, it does have some real competition. For example, when you interview for a job at Amazon, expect to be asked how you would respond to this highly likely event -- "Jeff Bezos walks into your office and says you can have a million dollars to launch your best entrepreneurial idea. What is it?"
The villain in the piece? Your desk chair. You may have felt like you had joined an elite society when you were given a snazzy Aeron chair on which to rest your sorry butt, but what you didn't realize is that you were issued a deadly weapon.
Cookies and ice cream may not be health foods, but after a grueling, frustrating, cosmically depressing day at work, the more sugary treats you can stuff down your pie hole, the better you will feel, especially when washed down with beer.
You just learned that the Internet colossus that is Yahoo has decided to reel in all those workers who had previously been allowed to work at home in their jam-jams. According to a ukase from the company's new leader, Marissa Mayer, Yahoo's open-door policy has been shut.
I really shouldn't write this column. I really shouldn't write anything. Or say anything. And neither should you. Expressing yourself can land you in the express lane to unemployment.
Fortunately, you don't have to die to become an HR director, or, at least, to know how they think. Simply acquire a copy of "Congratulations ... You're Hired" by Patricia D. Sadar and Teresa Kerrigan.
"I Didn't See It Coming," is the title of a new book by Nancy C. Widmann, Elaine J. Eisenman and Amy Dorn Kopelan. "The Only Book You'll Ever Need to Avoid Being Blindsided in Business," is the intriguing subtitle, though I am not convinced it is the only book you'll ever need.
This is a column for entrepreneurs, not political junkies, but you can't write for business owners without at least thinking about the political, economic and environmental climate that is healthiest for them.
If being a millionaire still appeals to you, here's good news -- Michael Ellsberg has just published a new book, "The Education of Millionaires," which promises to make any numbskull ridiculously rich, even if the numbskull in question didn't go to college
It isn't your dumb-head boss, or your lunk-head co-workers, or the dopey assignments that end up on your desk because everyone else in the company is too incompetent to handle them. You're depressed, friend, because you're not drinking enough coffee.
When you first came into the company as a bright-eyed, optimistic applicant, it was through the HR birth canal. And when you leave the company, a bitter, broken husk of your former self, it will be through the HR disposal unit.
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