Some advice from a friend:
1. Don't use the word "that" when you should be using the word "who". That comes across as uncaring.
2. The freeze is fine, but it's inconsequential compared to entitlements. By exempting entitlements you seem unserious. Insist on entitlement reform as the meat, and let the freeze be the sizzle.
3. If you don't roll back food stamps, cut the Department of Education, EPA, etc. you're not biting the bullet.