A gay man is free to enter into a marriage contract with a gay woman and have that contract adjudicated by the courts. So, they are not actually excluded from marriage. So, allow my to rephrase my question, "How are gay people harmed from their inability to use the word 'marriage' as a label for their same sex relationships?" I know gay people with bigger salaries, nicer cars, and better houses than me. So, I don't see the harm.