Rand Paul has the right approach. In the current DOMA case, only section 3 is before the Supreme Court. And that section deals solely with how the federal government defines marriage, not what states have to recognize or not recognize. So, don't worry about "subsidizing gay sex" whatever that means. Though, considering that low-income gay men with hiv qualify for gov't benefits now--especially for medications--well then you may already be "subsidizing gay sex."