"Take my alma mater, Oberlin College. Please."
No, really, that's okay. But thanks. Oberlin did good work 150 years ago, when it was Presbyterian and egalitarian. Now it offers little besides job security for insufferable prigs and political indoctrination for future baristas. At least it's private.
Sometimes I regret going into the Army straight from high school. I usually return to my senses in a minute or two.