con't: There are some children that do develop different kinds of detachment, or compartmentalizing, depending on what they get early from their parents. I actually lost BOTH my parents by age 15 and I realized I had a higher level of maturity and discipline than most of my peers. Better manners, like my father, that impressed the adults. A woman that knew my father as a boy, said that it was his 'princely manners' that got him a lot of places. The hoodlums were on their own. Whether the primary parent is a father or mother, personal comportment will matter to an adult willing to FILL the void. Good parents, attract good surrogates. A lot of the boys who knew my father, went on successfully because of his guidance.