Letters from Heaven Dearest Cousins, Hello! I am sending this in case uncle didn’t receive my earlier letters. I just wanted to give you a heads-up about my mommy. Because your lives are in danger. You see, you have several strikes against you already. Let me list them for you. 01. You are WHITE 02. You are conservative 03. Your parents are hated by my mommy 04. Your grandparents are hated by my mommy 05. You are Christian 06. You are male 07. You won’t have sex with my mommy 08. You weren’t aborted (that is what Liberals call murdering babies) 09. You will p1ss on muzzies when you grow up 10. You didn’t vote for the Sail Eared Simpleton 11. You will pay taxes as an earner