Look up "The Forensics of Adoption" and "Uncharted Waters" by David Kirschner. Most of the serial murderers and parricides he deals with were adopted shortly after birth. Why would the mother who chooses adoption be "sad"? Because carrying and giving birth attached her to the baby. Why is it so hard to understand that, even though the baby is pre-conscious, the baby might also be attached to HER? Also look up "Primal Wound: Understanding the Adopted Child" by adoptive mother Nancy Verrier.