Darn ... I have to guess you probably look and act as stupid as the things you post.
If you didn't go to school on the "short bus" you should have. I have to guess that you looked funny and your mommy dressed you weird.
Personally I would really prefer to believe that your post was meant to be some sort of comic relief but, the way its written, I guess there's no hope for that excuse to be applied and I/We really do have to consider that you are mentally retarded.
I am not sure how you equate seatbelt laws with bubble guns and suspension for a 5 year old kid under any circumstances.