At Hillary's next AA meeting, she will stand up and say, "I'm Hillary Clinton, and I'm an alcoholic. And the Republicans made me this way, especially GW Bush. They won't leave me alone, they expose my lying, and they are trying to find out how I made so much money since Bill left office and I've never had a private sector job, unless you count the graft in Arkansauce."
"Anyway, I've been so stressed and petrified that those evil Republicans will find out I've been working-and getting handsomely remunerated by Saudi Wahoohabis, and Islamists. I'm a queen, and this is no way to treat royalty".