DCM, the problem is that you're comparing 2 different things: in the first sentence you address how we treat PEOPLE; in the second, you address how we think about their CONDITIONS.
Jesus showed us how to do this in His interactions with the woman at the well. He treated her with dignity, yet He also told her to stop doing what she knew was wrong.
I know, a lot of people today would say that she had a deep-seated need for male attention, an over-active libido, a fear of loneliness, or a mild case of ODD. Jesus knew what her reasons were just as clearly as He knew what she was doing; He didn't tell her she needed to stop feeling that way, He didn't tell her that her wants/needs were silly or stupid, He just told her to stop sinning.