Most "Christians" are not Christ like because they are human beings, much like yourself. It's a struggle. To think that Christians are somehow no longer, or should no longer be subject to all the failures of humanity is absurd. Christ is our guide, he does not control us as automatons. The only real difference between a Christian and someone like yourself is that Christians know there is a difference that leads to improvement in ones personal life and a destiny other than tabula rasa of the human soul when this life is done, so we put in the effort to understand. Evidently, you believe that is a waste of time. Good luck with your "philosophy" ... may you never find the emptiness you believe in.