Now, if I were gay, and wanted to establish a clear, contractual relationship with my partner, I would not beg for approval from those paragons of virtue we call government officials. I would simply go to a competent attorney to draw up contractual papers establishing:
1) Mutually-held property
2) Mutual financial support
3) Rights of inheritance
4) Power of attorney for medical decisions
There you go: we'd be married. No state involvement whatsoever (except in the case of dissolution of the contract, which may or may not occur with ANY contract). In fact, you could even get around that by using an arbitration clause.
Now if YOU as a third party, don't want to CALL it marriage, all power to you.