Mike, shame is the unavoidable natural consequence of sin. In a way, because as Paul said what I did in my far distant past only became what now I am only ashamed of, I suppose having become aware of it because of my commitment to Christ in a way increased my shame. Being smarter is not a bad thing, becoming aware of the truth only increases my chances of survival. I suppose, in the light of that it is possible to say I desire the knowledge that my former life was shameful. I can also wish for the sake of my children's children (11 so far) my prayer to God is for many more who may see the shame of their past lives.