Maggie, I normally agree with you and I appreciate all of your work. That being said, you make several assumptions here. You probably have NO IDEA what really went on in his marriage. There are more vows than "til death do us part." How do we know his wife didn't break many vows repeatedly? Where is the hard & fast rule that, until our secular govt declares your marriage over, you must not make plans with anyone else? If his marriage has been dead for years, why wait? You ask, "After all, is marriage such a horrible cross to bear?" The answer, in some states more than others, is "YES!!!" for a man married to the wrong woman, because the force of govt makes such a situation highly risky for men.