I understand where you are coming from. The culture one grows up in makes a huge difference in your response to stresses. When we disrupted tribal Africans and brought them here as slaves we destroyed their culture. The result was fractured families which did manage to regroup with significant help from the black churches (not allowed in white churches when I was young). They rallied around Christ who's kindness and love for all reaches across centuries to all of us. With the change in morality, abortions, the minimization of the importance of men/husbands/fathers and the addition of illegal drugs to tame the pain what we see is a disorganized and distructive culture of murder rap, fatherless children with a welfare check and cell phone.