What happened was that I felt a longing, even an emptiness, I had never before experienced. Something was missing from my life, but I could not at first identify it. I knew it was not about being without friends or family -- after all, I hadn't been with family or friends for the previous three months. And it wasn't about being alone -- I had gotten used to...
There are also different kinds of "not knowing." If you pretend you're an expert in farming and under that pretense you get hired as a servant on a farm, but really you don't know a cow from mary had a little lamb, well you are going to get held responsible for doing it wrong even though you were ignorant. But again, Dim Bulb doesn't want to do anything but raise superficial sensations against the knowledge of Christ. It's not like such issues have not been raised, and answered, a million times before.
When I was 20, I spent my junior year in college in England. When classes let out for the last two weeks of December, I traveled to Morocco, where something life-changing occurred.
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