Please don't blow up any more planes.

However, should you ignore my wishes how about using a screaming two year old?

I could get behind having those banned.

Believe it or not the solution to getting through security and onto our planes faster and far safer is to add ANOTHER checkpoint before the security screening area.

the BSC - or BACON SECURITY CHECKPOINT. If you eat a piece of Bacon you zip through security. Otherwise, welcome do Dulles... hope you're comfy cause we're gonna be here a bit.