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On Earth Day, I Expanded My Carbon Footprint

meerbock Wrote: Apr 25, 2012 10:53 PM
Isn't that remark about watermelons some kind of dog-whistle sooper-seekrit racist codeword? I mention this only to highlight my own staunch refusal to be bound by the thesaurus promulgated by the politically correct. I usually mention 'watermelon' with 'fried chicken' simply to make the PC race-baiters' eyes squirt blood. In case you don't know what a 'thesaurus' is, it's an ancient reptile with a huge vocabulary.

To celebrate “earth day” this year, I decided that I would do what the Obama administration just hasn’t been able to figure out: I would stimulate the economy by the conscious expansion of my carbon footprint.

So I ran the air conditioning for a while in my house.

I also turned all the lights on in the house. Well, actually, I just didn’t turn off the lights my kids turned on. Through this process of reverse attrition, at one point, all the lights in the house eventually were on.

I call this Ransom’s Law: The amount of lights...