Recently, I have been getting a lot of complaints about the lack of diversity in my opinion column. The Feminazi Party has been complaining that I write about abortion too often. The Gaystapo has been complaining that I write about homosexuality too often. Atheists have been complaining that I write about God too often. College administrators have been complaining that I write about college administrators too often. I just can’t win. So, today, I’m going to dedicate my column to the topic of self-defense weapons just in case a lesbian feminist atheist college administrator goes off the deep end. I...
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