In response to:

I Just Wanted to Include the Word "Obama" in this Superbowl Headline

KManInLaLa Wrote: Feb 05, 2013 3:54 AM
Don't forget--the officials' uniforms would either be gray ("nothing is black-and-white") or rainbow-colored (showing how they "include" all the players).

(Editor’s Note: Barack Obama will not make an appearance in this column.)

Dear Coach,

Now that the Superbowl is over, it’s not too late to begin thinking about “next” year.   

So, pursuant with the terms of my plea bargain agreement and by order of the court, “Number 81®” hereby submits this apology to you, to the patrons of Danny’s All Night Café and to the fine ladies of the Buddy’s Airport Lounge and Go-Go Barn (home of the $12.99 T-bone-lap-dance combo).

While the words have been crafted on the advice of Number 81®’s attorney, the...

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