I’m getting sick and tired of all the violence. Every few months, the campus community gets another email blast from the police saying that a gunman is loose on the UNCW campus. For those who don’t know, UNCW stands for The University of North Carolina at We-are-sitting-ducks-because-only-criminals-carry-guns-on-campus. Our ban on guns has turned the campus into safe haven for armed robbers. It has also increased the incidence of violent crime around the perimeter of our campus. The explanation for the trend is purely common sense. And my solution is pure genius, largely because it is born of my boundless humility....
Excellent satire. I agree with allowing students with gun permits to carry on campus. But no scholarships for non-gun owners?
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