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Shacking up is bad, but is marriage truly a commitment if it can be ended unilaterally for no reason whatsover?
Excellent. Yes. We need a serious shift in our socialization. I'm at the point where I think churches should ignore state licenses and "enforce" a more Biblical model. Dumping your spouse without justification? Don't expect such a church to overlook that, and especially don't expect that church to host your next marriage ceremony.
Rob answered for me. Is something really a commitment when it can be ended unilaterally for no reason whatsoever? Legally, state marriage is only a commitment to make the spouse who earns more financially compensate the other spouse, and for husbands to be considered the default fathers of children born to the wife, even if she made the children with someone else.
I am AGAINST fornication. I'm also against overstating what the problems are. At least you admit your objection is based on Jesus, as do I, although I also note that the world would be better off saving sex for marriage because of abortion, STDs, and bonding with the wrong person.
Of course the kid should not be punished. It is a matter of 1) defrauding a man who has been cheated on; 2) collecting from the actual father; 3) marrying a third man who is foolish enough to marry the mother and pay for her love child; 4) tagging the taxpayers. Either way, the kid will be provided for financially. No, paternity fraud is NOT rare.
That's a ridiculous thing to say. I love my siblings but there is no way I could live with them. I know. I had one as a roommate for a few years.
I means the child SHE had with the neighbor...
Before I ask my question, I just want to say I'm a social conservative, an evangelical follower of Christ and I love Mike Adams columns and Facebook updates; I think shacking up is a horrible idea and I have argued for years via blogs and other means to defend marriage laws from neutering. Now, here's my question: Which is the cart and which the horse? Are we really to believe that a particular Jane Doe and Joe Schmoe, simply by getting married rather than shacking up, eliminate those negative indicators? Maybe the kind of people to do all of those other things are also more likely to be the kind of people to shack up? So perhaps the answer isn't to demand marriage when someone asks to to shack up, but rather end the relationship entirely? Frankly, if someone's relationship is abusive or doomed to end anyway, I'd rather they shack up instead of marrying because in marrying they become negative statistics for marriage (of course it is better that they don't get together at all, but if the option is shacking up vs. marriage, let them shack up, I say.) THE one way shacking up is actually likely to contribute to divorce is establishing patterns as unmarried individuals that carry over into marriage when you're supposed to be "one flesh". But that is just ONE of the reasons shacking up can be correlated to a higher divorce rate. Others include: 1) People who are willing to shack up are also more willing to divorce; 2) People who were never going to last anyway get married BECAUSE they shacked up and they figured it was the "next step" in the relationship or thought it would make the relationship better. (That last one is the danger we risk if we tell them marrying is the right thing to do, rather than telling them they shouldn't be together at all.) 3) She wants the dress and parties and she's "earned it" because she's given everything else to him, and of course this attitude doesn't bode well for marriage. Maybe they were never going to marry anyway. Rather than dating for a couple of years living in separate places, more people shack up. Then "our" side says, "See! You didn't get married! Shacking up is bad!"
A young woman receives no more or no less than a young man does in fornicating. I am against fornicating, but you're misleading people when you write as though women don't enjoy fornication and you also make it sound like a man should pay money for sex.
No, no! You're ruining it! You're supposed to say it was a big mistake! (I actually thinking shacking up is a horrible idea, but unlike my fellow religious conservatives, I don't think it always ends up badly.)
Oh, for sure. When a woman dumps her shackup boyfriend, he isn't forced to give her half of everything he's earned and to keep paying her for years on end. Nor is the child he had with the neighbor his financial responsibility for 18-25 years.
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