America's Caringest Mayor is at it again: having saved New York from sugary drinks, Michael Bloomberg has turned his attention to painkiller addiction. The best option to prevent kids from abusing Mom's leftover Valium from her back surgery is, of course, curbing the supply of such drugs, so that's just what Bloomberg intends to do. As such, he's introduced a measure that would limit the supply of powerful pain drugs in emergency rooms -- despite the fact that lower-income families often use the ER as their primary care source. No matter: this is for the common good of New...
I got one word for you, Bloomie: Bedbugs. You can make people drink 31 oz sodas, and take less pain pills than they might actually need, now get rid of the bedbugs that are putting a crimp in New York's tourist industry. You've mastered nutrition and pharmacology; entomology should be a piece of cake!
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