Officials Warn of Al Qaeda Plots on Anniversary of Bin Laden's Death

Islamic scientists from the Middle-Eastern branch of Acme, Incorporated have developed the special no metal religion of peace body bomb. Selected morons will be force-fed several pounds of high explosives. Those who's interests lie more with their nether regions will be stuffed by special Acme islamic sausage stuffers that will fill up their lower alimentary tracts with the same explosives. Fuses are thus coming out of the mouth, or the other end. Eager volunteers are lining up for free airline tickets to various infidel dog cities, and putting their "Xs" on the religious forms, since few of them can read or write. They are trained to light their fuses with paper matches while yelling Allah whatever, whenever the moment suits them.