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Pentagon Keyboard Jockeys Can Now Out-Decorate Combat Heroes

alopekos teumesios Wrote: Feb 19, 2013 7:49 PM
Soon to be released will be the Domestic Terrorist Engagement Badge with tiny replica body parts of NRA members that wiggle on the end of little springs. It will feature a "V"device for personnel with long commutes to the office.

PARIS -- U.S. Defense Secretary Leon Panetta announced last week that the Pentagon has created a new military award for keyboard cyber-warriors and drone joystick jockeys.

The Distinguished Warfare Medal will recognize those whose ability to incinerate a designated target from the comfort of an office chair wasn't prohibitively affected by a jumpy trigger finger on the joystick from a mid-shift java jolt. Or, as Panetta put it: "The medal provides distinct, department-wide recognition for the extraordinary achievements that directly impact on combat operations, but that do not involve acts of valor or physical risk that combat entails."

Given that this...