Teenage substance abuse is down in every category (cigarettes, alcohol, heavy alcohol, marijuana, cocaine) since 1979, but up in all categories since 1996.

In 1960, a 3-minute telephone call to San Francisco from New York cost $12.66. Today, $0.36. The life of a light bulb is four times what it was 10 years ago. Over the past 50 years, the rate of death from catastrophic accidents (accidents killing at least five people) has fallen about fourfold. The percentage of streams usable for fishing and swimming: in 1972, 36 percent; in 1994, 86 percent.

Had enough? For more, write to the Cato Institute, 1000 Massachusetts Ave., Washington, D.C. 20001.

And remember: If you had some ham, we could have a ham sandwich, if I had some bread.

That's the other face of Coueism, but over New Year's, we should pay it no heed.