This made the man with the mustache indignant. He demanded to know the reason for it. He was told that the mustache trimmer could be used as a weapon in any effort to take control of the plane. Surely, he protested finally, if he wanted to take over the plane by force, he would use his magnum pistol, not his mustache trimmer. And anyway, why would he try to take control of the plane, since he was already in control of the plane, serving in his capacity as captain?
An intelligent reform would aim at presumptive clearances.
The passenger is a woman? One credit.
The passenger's Social Security number is flashed through the system, showing no record of deception? One credit.
The passenger is under 15? One credit.
The passenger is over 50? One credit.
The passenger has no felony record? One credit.
The passenger is white or black? One credit.
The passenger paid for the ticket with a credit card? One credit.
If, checking in, the passenger has a total of 5 credits or better, affix an "N/S" on his boarding card -- No Search required.
Now it is acrostically easy to devise the passenger with 5 points who is nevertheless a terrorist on duty. A woman ... using an innocent woman's name and Social Security number ... is 60 years old ...
Yes, the system would have to admit that a duck-billed platypus could get into that airplane under the proposed credit system, with anthrax under her fingernails.
But we have to hit the problem by reasoning a posteriori: We ) know that the existing system is preposterous. I don't have the wholesome looks of Mr. Brenner, but more than once, checking in my luggage, the curbside attendant has said, "How you doing, Mr. Buckley? Now let me see your ID."
David Brenner thinks that the only solution to the problem would be to make Tom Ridge travel once a week on a commercial airline trip. He would discover that his role as head of homeland security wouldn't get him past the first inspector. Sitting down while they examined his shoes, he could give a little intelligent attention to the stupidities 9/11 generated and American bureaucrats tolerate.