Tony Blankley

For those with a gloomy view of our civilization's future, a small beam of light has broken through the clouds. Paris Hilton has announced she plans to retire from public life and raise a family.

 According to the Associated Press, the Zsa Zsa Gabor of our times has observed that "I don't enjoy going out anymore. It's such a pain. It's everyone saying, 'Let's do a deal! Can I have a picture?" I'm just, like, "These people are such losers. I can't believe I used to love doing this."

 Out of the mouths of babes.

 Translated into non-Valley talk English, Ms. Hilton, suddenly wise beyond her years, has rejected materialism, the culture of celebrity and the moral shortcomings of the demimonde found in chic urban clubs.

 Delving further into her study of proper behavior, she firmly endorsed the age-old advice of experienced parents that it is unwise to associate with people who frequent sordid places or indulge in hedonistic practices. Gertrude Himmelfarb, Rev. Jerry Falwell and the Heritage Foundations could give no firmer moral guidance. And to think that only recently Ms. Hilton could be seen in cyberspace (so I am told) copulating joyously with a man not her husband. 

 Before getting too ecstatic at her full conservative moral redemption, it must be pointed out, according to Newsweek, that shortly after announcing her intention to retire from public life, she wore a tiara as grand marshal in The Los Angeles Gay, Lesbian, Bi-Sexual & Transgender Pride Parade -- not that there is anything wrong with that.

 Newsweek went on to note that she doesn't plan to implement her retreat from publicity for two years. But I can understand that. I plan to start my diet next week. There's no time like the future for moral or other redemption. Still, there is value in good intentions. Before the act must come the perception that one is in need of redemption. We often have a few false starts before we succeed. I quit smoking two times before it finally took.

 So I wish Ms. Hilton well in her plans to become a moral pillar of our society and, like the rest of us, start going to bed early in one's own bed with one's own spouse. I think she will find that she can become a pillar without becoming a stiff.

Tony Blankley

Tony Blankley, a conservative author and commentator who served as press secretary to Newt Gingrich during the 1990s, when Republicans took control of Congress, died Sunday January 8, 2012. He was 63.

Blankley, who had been suffering from stomach cancer, died Saturday night at Sibley Memorial Hospital in Washington, his wife, Lynda Davis, said Sunday.

In his long career as a political operative and pundit, his most visible role was as a spokesman for and adviser to Gingrich from 1990 to 1997. Gingrich became House Speaker when Republicans took control of the U.S. House of Representatives following the 1994 midterm elections.

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