Tom Purcell

"We have an employee who is criticizing our lack of openness," said the bureaucrat. "He says in a constitutional republic, new laws cannot be arbitrarily created in the executive branch -- which is essentially what we are doing. He says we are being unconstitutional."

"Good God," I said. "You have been infiltrated by a conservative. He'll surely contact the press and sing."

"We expect not," said the bureaucrat. "Since he was a conservative, it wasn't too hard for a government psychiatrist to diagnose him as mentally unfit. We put him on forced disability."

"Nicely played," I said.

Some argue that government leakers are not the real problem our country is facing. The real problem is that our government has gotten too big, powerful and intrusive.

They argue that the recent scandals are not isolated incidents -- that the scandals are what big government looks like.

Maybe so, but that is not my concern.

My only concern is this: I am Agent Monday and I have an important job to do.


Tom Purcell

Tom Purcell, author of "Comical Sense: A Lone Conservative Humorist Takes on a World Gone Nutty!" and "Misadventures of a 1970's Childhood," is a Pittsburgh Tribune-Review humor columnist syndicated nationally by Cagle Cartoons. Visit him on the web at www.TomPurcell.com