Bring the mantel of faith to the cause of more entitlements. Jesus had no love for the rich. Portray him as a divine Robin Hood dedicated to taking from the rich to give to the poor…and the middle class…and anyone who voted for Democrats. Jesus said “Render unto Caesar.” Hey, why not “Render unto Washington!”
Keep claiming the mantel of truth on “global warming.” Calling it “settled” science and demeaning critics will help silence unsettling critical inquiry and provide cover for the “scientists” while they deal with the recent cooling trend, their “lost” data and questionable research models.
Provide short-term incentives for businesses to hire new workers. Don’t tell them, but once the fools are successful and making a profit, you’ll require them to pay for everyone’s healthcare and tax away any of the profits they have left.
Finally, stop the bipartisan summits. Get back on message—“We’re open to any good ideas, but Republicans made this mess and have no plans of their own.” Keep Republicans in their place—down there somewhere. Collaboration and attempts at bipartisanship do to political power what sugar does to teeth. You wouldn’t want to rot your teeth; you don’t want to dilute your power.
With these helpful hints, you can make a final push to remake America. At your left-wing events, crowds will still appear to support you. Don’t let the growing Tea Party demonstrations, dropping poll numbers and lost elections deter you from your illusion of “hope” and “change.” By the way, the Surgeon General warns that using these suggestions may be hazardous to your own political career and a disaster to the country you have sworn to serve and protect.
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