Suzanne Fields

Bill has for the most part stuck to his role as an elder philanthropist, and he hasn't crashed Obama's party. But he probably couldn't restrain himself as the spouse of the veep. Making her secretary of state kept Hillary flying solo around the world, where she could only make mischief in Upper Slobbovia or Lower Volta. The vice presidency would be already too close.

Hillary naturally denies wanting the second-tier job. That's what they all have to say. "Being a vice president is kind of like being a first lady," she told The New York Times. "You are there to support and serve the president." Been there, done that. Walter Mondale, who was Jimmy Carter's veep, describes the office as "a four-year non-divorceable marriage."

Hillary knows what any savvy co-ed knows: A woman is never more desirable than when she is unavailable. Every denial of interest fans the flames. Oxygen fed those flames with one poll shocker that Mitt Romney leads the president among women by 46 percent to 44 percent. It was a tiny margin well within the margin of error, but scarifying to Democrats because many other polls had shown Obama with big leads among women.

Female voters are expected to believe that the GOP is conducting a war on women. The stages of a woman's life in an Obama Internet commercial called "The Life of Julia" depicts a woman as dependent on government, from cradle to senior citizenship, and reflects the demeaning Democratic view of women. So does the suggestion that women, even college graduates, need someone else to pay for their birth control devices. That's not exactly what Betty Friedan had in mind for the liberation of women.

When Hillary was in the White House, channeling Eleanor Roosevelt, her psychic friend Jean Houston said she carried the burden of "5,000 years of subservience to men" and compared her to Joan of Arc. Hillary seems to have worked through most of her bad karma, but she would tempt fate as the veep.

The president wouldn't look so hot, either. The vice presidency has been described, among a lot of other insignificant things, as a spare tire you only need when another tire goes flat. What woman wants to be a spare tire?

Suzanne Fields

Suzanne Fields is currently working on a book that will revisit John Milton's 'Paradise Lost.'

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