The feminists got one thing right. The personal is political. The phrase is stretched out of shape to cover a multitude of occasions, but as a rock-bottom truth it holds up. Just not the way it was originally intended.
Feminists of the '60s used it to identify their subjugation. They held endless consciousness-raising sessions to berate the men in their lives, as well as the "conservative values" that forced on them cultural roles of "gender" rather than sex, as determined by biology. They identified marriage and motherhood, in Betty Friedan's memorable phrase, as "living in a comfortable concentration camp." That was hyperbole, vulgar and perverse.
But as women were educated and entered the job market in huge numbers, sexual politics changed. Bill Clinton campaigned with Hillary in 1992, promising voters they could "buy one, get one free." That didn't sell; Americans don't like someone they didn't vote for exercising power over them. In her own campaign for president, Hillary is running on "their" record in the White House, but suggests her husband will be an adviser, not a co-president. (If you believe that, I've got a Jefferson Memorial to sell to you, a nice weekend cottage on a lake shaded by cherry trees.) If their last name were "Wolfowitz," Hillary would find work for Bill outside the White House.
"First Man" is just not the same as "First Lady." Bill would never complain about being expected to stay home and bake cookies, but he complains a lot about being on the street after eight years as the most powerful man on the avenue. Bill's friends and acquaintances confided to Bob Tyrrell, for his revealing book "The Clinton Crack-Up," that despite his troubled tenure in office, Bill hates being out of office: "In fact, wherever he is right now, whatever he is doing, you can be certain that he would rather be at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue."