A few bimbos later, Tila dispenses with the innocence stuff, and takes a whip to a blonde on all fours in a leather sadistic sex outfit. The whippee tells the camera afterward, “Tila totally whipped me when I went out there, which is totally what I wanted.” This is so educational, I wonder if some perve at PBS will be interested in syndicating it, right after Sesame Street. Why wait until they’re 12 to corrupt them?
Another tart comes out in an American flag bikini outfit, prompting Tila to say, “God bless America!” Indeed, it begs the question as to how long God will continue to bless a nation that allows the slobbering studio execs at Viacom to serve this kind of “holy crap” up to kids.
The episode ends in a pool party in which the guys and girls allegedly are shocked—shocked!—to learn the show’s bisexual premise and that Tila herself swings both ways. Did I mention that everyone was shocked?
One girl takes a look at the dolts across the pool and exclaims, “There are guys there, and they’re all staring at me, like a piece of meat!” Yet this same nuclear scientist didn’t have a problem dressing like a “naughty nurse” and parading herself “like a piece of meat” in front of Tila earlier in the show.
The show promises more to come, with previews of a “Sin” room with a giant bed and bodies of both sexes entangled in an MTV variation on Twister.
At the end, someone summed up the new show: “This house is The Real World on crack.”
For MTV, it doesn’t get any better than that.